A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Another touching literary piece

I saw this poem in a newsgroup a few years ago, and saw it again recently. I found it quite moving and felt like sharing it.
Welcome To Holland

Emily Perl Kingsley

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

15 month check up

kid #3 had his 15 month check up today. He is now almost 24 lbs and is 30 inches tall. My big guy... :) He also had 2 vaccines today, the prevnar and menjugate. He is pretty cranky. he was also cranky yesterday too, and drooling a lot. My pediatrician said he is getting a molar in. It must be really bothering him as I have never seen him so cranky before. Hopefully the tooth will come in all the way soon and the discomfort will ease for him. I also asked the pediatrician about #1 not getting accepted to a certain school due to being *busy* sigh...My pediatrician said that is why it is good to apply to several at once and not just one only. He said most likely the other school will take him, and if they say no, then tell the rabbi who will become involved, as the only alternative to that would G-d forbid be public school, and that is not a choice at all, being we are frum. I am sure this other school we have in mind will take him as hubby went there as a kid. my son is lively but is very well behaved in a class environment, which I tried explaining to the rabbi of the school he was turned down from. I am really tired and am starting to ramble so I am going to bed now. hubby also said he could tell I was rambling from where he was sitting and watching me type and that I also am breathing like I am asleep. I only had 2 hours of sleep last night thanks to a certain baby indivudual. Good night and hope this post made at least a little sense :P.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Only Simchas...

I just posted some new pics of the baby today on www.onlysimchas.com. If you want to see the pics, you have to figure out where on the site they are :P. I will give you a hint, she was born on January 9th. and no, I am not in any of the pics. No pics of me till I lose some of the pregnancy weight :P.

In other news...my son did not get accepted at the school we had an interview with today :( My son was deemed "too busy" at this point. The rabbi told us we can make an appointment with him next month and try another interview, or whenever we feel he will be able to sit long enough to answer 1 or 2 questions the rabbi tried to ask him today. My son told the rabbi, sorry rabbi, I'm playing now. (there were toys in the room) I think that was the major distraction for him. The rabbi told me to also apply elsewhere, so I am. I am assuming try again later means no, and I am probably not going to bother making another appointment with the rabbi of this school. He was a very nice man, soft spoken. My son is very busy, and I was worried about this happening. My son also managed to lock himself out of the interview room too, and then said, help me, I'm locked out of the room, to which all three of us had a chuckle. that was pretty much the end of the interview at that point. So now, on to the next school we had in mind for him, where hubby had attended as a child. I hope my son will be more calm at this interview. I also applied for my daughter for this school too. (there is a boy and a girls branch, but it is mixed until grade 1.).

Friday, February 18, 2005

She smiled!!!

Today my baby smiled at me for the very first time :) She is 5 weeks now, so I know it is not just gas. Just thought I would post this little milestone. Okay, now back to laundry and cooking for shabbos.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

1 month check up and other news...

new baby had her 1 month check up today. I guess she is not brand new any more :P. She gained and is now 9 lbs. the pediatrician said her growth is excellent, B"H. Her next check up is next month where she will get 2 vaccines, Prevnar and pentacel. she is still a bit colicky. I am really looking forward to when she starts smiling and cooing. She is almost sleeping through the night. she is taking in more formula now so that is probably why. she is up to 5 oz. now a feeding.

Baby #3 is going for his 15 month check up on Tuesday. He is getting his last of the prevar vaccines. I am a bit concerned as ever since his stomch virus a few weeks ago he has been having diarrhea off and on. The pediatrician had brushed it off when I brought it up at the baby's appointment, saying it could be a food allergy but I can't link it to any one thing he is eating. On tuesday I am going to make the doc look into it a bit more than he has.

In other news, I picked up the sears pics today. they came out really well. I bought this really pretty silver decorated frame to match the pic. I really like the new frames sears sells. I also made an appointment for next month to have babe #3's pick done. I haven't had one taken of him since he was 9 months and now he is 15 months. Hopefully in April I would like to have babe #2's pic taken. She will be almost 3 (I can't believe it!) the reason I am having it in april and not May when she will be 3 is because that is when the coupon expires :P.

And now for me news, I am going back to my family doc tomorrow morning. I still have that stupid cyst, but that is not the main reason I am going. I plan on telling my ob/gyn about the cyst and let him deal it with it. . I did something really stupid which I am embarrased to tell my doc but not too embarrased to post it here :P. I used my hubby's old electric shaver to try to shave my underarms as I noticed some red splotches and they were sore. I was concerned about it as I have had infections there before (lymphadenitis and also just general skin infections under my arms.). so I thought using an electric shaver would be safer. Suffice it to say men's shavers were not made for womens underarms :) i just ended up making it very painful and irritated and raw. I think I made the skin infection worse too. I also am seeing my family doc tomorrow because my bowels are a big mess. I have a really metallic taste in my mouth and I am having lots of rumbling noises from my tummy and intestines, and can actually feel the vibrations of it if I put my hand on my abdomen. I have a sluggish digestive system ever since having baby #2 but now it has gotten a lot worse and even the lactulose and sennekot did not help much. I only take sennekot on the rare occasion as if you take it too much it will make your bowels lazy. After babe #2 it did get better after a few months so that is probably what will happen again, I hope. I really don't want to go back to the gastroenterologist. No more tests..I had already a lower gi series and a sigmoidoscopy. I was told I had a bad case of irritable bowel syndrome. Harmless but painful. Anyways, I should just start eating better. That may help a bit. I also bought this tea my doula told me about by celestial seasonings called Tummy Mint. It is pretty good and helps settle my tummy a bit.

and as a side note, Sunday I am going with hubby and kid #1 on an interview with the rabbi of the school we want him to get into. we are trying to register him for junior kindergarten. There was a statement on the application saying they don't want the kids exposed to TV, videos or internet. we have all 3. It never said you can't own a tv :) So, hopefully, if the rabbi brings that up, I will point that out and say we will just make sure our son won't be allowed to watch tv or videos, and as far as internet goes, right now he is too little and in any case we have a password set on the computer as he likes to mess around with the settings on it and make things go beep :) Hopefully there won't be a problem and he will be accepted to this school.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Life, the universe, Everything

I got this today in my email, from the Eishes Chayil newsletter, and found it quite moving, and I thought I would share this.
I do not know who wrote it.

Hashem Said No
I asked Hashem to take away my habit.
Hashem said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked Hashem to make my handicapped child whole.
Hashem said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked Hashem to grant me patience.
Hashem said, No.
Patience is a by product of tribulations;
It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked Hashem to give me happiness.
Hashem said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked Hashem to spare me pain.
Hashem said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
And brings you closer to me.

I asked Hashem to make my spirit grow.
Hashem said, No.
You must grow on your own! ,
But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked Hashem for all things that I might enjoy life.
Hashem said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked Hashem to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
Hashem said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be
the world"

In other news, the cyst I have in my breast appears to be oozing sporadically, so I am thinking it is probably just a cyst and I guess my doc's medical training paid off :P. but if it is not gone in a week or two I might go back to have him take another look at it.

Monday, February 07, 2005

What a day...

Well, apparently I have a cyst around the area where my milk ducts are. Nothing to worry about but yet I am still worried (that's the way I am, I worry about everything. I was having some breast pain and pain under my arm last week. I went to my family doc last Thursday night, as I thought it was my lymph nodes. they were not swollen B"H, and he told me it's probably just an irritation. Today, I noticed a small softish lump around the milk duct area, but I noticed it was prominent. It did not feel deep, but I still was quite anxious about it. My doc saw me this afternoon (I had to bring all 4 kids which is another story, to follow). He said it didn't feel deep and it was not hard, and it was probably a cyst. I am supposed to put hot soaks on it and if it does not go away in a week I am to come back. Earlier, when I had squeezed it, some whitish stuff had come out of it. I am a worry wart, and I know docs know these things but I need some reassurance from my fellow women :) how do they know it is a cyst vs. a tumor? Does it feel different? he didn't do an ultrasound. I am only 27 with no history of breast cancer in my entire family. I am sure my doc knows what he is talking about but in the past I have read stories about mistakes such as these. I wonder if it's worth it to put a call into my ob? I am not seeing him until March 1st for my post partum check up. The cyst is on the same breast I had mastitis in, so you can see why I am worried. I had an ultrasound done 2 years ago when I kept getting infections under my right arm and it came up normal. I think I would feel better if I had another ultrasound done though, it's 2 years later. I just felt it again right now and it deinitely is painful but doesn't feel like a hard lump through and through. It feels more superficial.

And now for the story of my kids behaviour in the doc's office: My husband made me erase this part and won't let me tell. :) Just let me say it was very embarrasing and involved a moon and my 4 year old. Use your imagination :) then my 2 1/2 year old started bouncing off the walls too. I know it was a long wait in the doc's office...but boy.. :) My kids are usually so well behaved, but they sure weren't this afternoon.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

My little model

We got the baby's first picture taken today at sears :) Good thing I brought a bottle, because as soon as we put her in the little seat, she started sucking her hand like crazy and seemed hungry, even though I had fed her before we left to take my oldest to school. So, I fed her, and away we went. I ended up choosing a tummy pose of her, with the white muslin background. I wanted to get the pics on disk but a certain programmer hubby of mine vetoed that as he said the resolution was probably not good and 10 bucks was too expensive. (Darn, I should not have called him from my cell to ask him first :P) I am just really anxious to finally put her pic up on
only simchas . Alas, I will have to wait until my sister mails me the pics she took that she is having put on disk for me. (yes sister, where are they already?? It's been two weeks!!!!!!!) :) I am getting impatient!!! I really need to convince hubby that we should get a digital camera.

In other news, I am really excited because I bought my 2 sons snowsuits that are really great, down filled, that was on clearance for spring. I got them for 54 bucks each, and they are normally almost 130 each. they didn't have any good ones in my 2 1/2 year old's size for next winter. The new babe can have my other daughter's snow suit from when she was smaller for next fall as it is still in good shape.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

She gained!!

My baby gained 3 oz since friday and is now back up past her birth weight, B"H! :) She is now 8 lb 6 oz :) My pediatrician said that it is probably she is just a slow gainer. If she hadn't gained, he was worried there might have been a metabolism problem, but now, not to worry, thank G_d. What a big relief.

In other news, my kids still have the stomach virus. No more puking, however now my couch and part of the carpet is decorated with diarrhea that won't come out with stain remover :) My 14 month old was sitting on the couch with a toy, while I was changing the baby. (he is quite adept at climbing up on the couch, to my dismay) When I came downstairs, my daughter told me, mommy (insert my 14 month old's name here) made poo on the couch. I thought she was joking, but when I looked I saw his diaper had exploded with diarrhea, poor kid. My daughter also still has diarrhea too. My 4 year old seems to be better and is back at school. I hope my infant doens't get the virus...that is the last thing I need.

Not much else doing for this week. I am planning on getting the new baby's pic taken at sears on thursday if all goes well :)