A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Pushing matches at school

Yes, I received a phone call today from #1's school that he was invovled in a pushing match and banged his forehead hard on something at school. I have a good idea who started it and I can almost guarantee it wasn't my son. there is this kid in his class who is extremely aggressive, 3 years older than my son, who has a history of hitting other kids, and I have even seen this kid hit the teacher, and have heard from another aide that this kid was pretty aggressive, and also this kid has screamed in #1 and my other kids faces and I had complained to the school about it and told the aide to please try to keep this kid away from my stroller and also I wanted him away from #1 in class as much as possible. I don't want this kid around my son, he is a very bad influence. The school wouldn't tell me who started the pushing match or if the other kid involved was the one I had complained to them about. know my son though and he would never start a fight. he may tease his younger sister (#2) but he is not one to start pushing or hitting. He is not aggressive like that. I am pretty sure that other kid instigated it and started it. My poor lil pooh bear :( The school told me not to be alarmed when I see a bruise on his forehead. they said he is ok now and back to playing. I am definitely not sending him back to that school next year.


  • At 9:30 p.m., Anonymous LeeAnn said…

    Hi Alison-
    You have the right as the parent of the child who was hurt, to know who started the fight and most certainly WHO he was in the fight with. What kind of school is he going to that will not give you information. That would NOT fly at my school.

  • At 9:41 p.m., Blogger Alison said…

    Hi! :) I found out what really happened when I picked him up today at school. Apparently, he was crying and yelling very badly because he was not first to pick a prize, and that kid who I blogged about, the really aggressive one who screams on the top of his lungs at my kids, didn't like my son's crying, so he shoved him, and my son shoved him back, and they both fell to the floor, and he banged his head. I found out from the teacher. it was the vice principal who called me originally, the same one I told to keep that kid away from my son. and also he came out and told me, mommy (insert troubled kid's name here) pushed me today. that kid is 8 years old, and should have known better. At least one of the teachers had the decency to tell me what really happened. I think because I told the school several times I wanted that kid away from my son, and now that kid hurt him, the v.p. was afraid I would scream at him or something. :P.

  • At 8:01 p.m., Anonymous Mariann said…

    *sigh* You have my sympathies... it's challenging to keep positive about a school experience, knowing that there are external factors that affect your son's enjoyment. I dread getting notes from my son's teacher about his antics. I know that much of it is because of the older children -- he is one of the youngest in his pre-kindergarten class -- and the rigid structure that bores him.

    As a parent and former early childhood educator, I'd want to know the context of the situation that prompted the physical confrontation. Knowing this information will help you talk to your son about what happened so that if something similar happens again, he knows what to do, what to say, and who to find to help him, rather than get into a mix-up. I'd also inquire why your son is in a class with such an older child. A year in either direction is okay, but three years is just too darn much for a developmentally appropriate learning experience.

    Good luck. :)

  • At 8:07 p.m., Blogger Alison said…

    well, the problem is, at his school, there is no kindergarten, just nursery class that has kids up to age 5, and something they call primary mid, which is like a grade 1. he was too advanced for the nursery school class there. but he is too young for grade 1, so the school has him in the grade 1 some days andand he goes to the nursery sometimes for certain activities, and often spends the afternoon there. that's why his class has all older kids. he is the youngest in the primary mid class.

  • At 8:16 p.m., Blogger Alison said…

    actually, to clarify, its grade 1-3 combined in one clasroom. I am not happy with the set up and in additon to certain rough older kids in the class, I feel he isn't learning much there. next year, if the school we would like to appy to for kids with asperger's/ADHD doesn't accept him, we are going to put him in public school for one year. but hopefully they will take him.

  • At 1:09 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oy, Alison, it sounds like your son is not in a great setting. Often the day schools are not equipped to deal with aspergers as well as other special learning needs. I have learned that from watching parents of children with Asperger's at my children's day school, the parents have a full time job watching out for their child as well as working with the school. It seems that the parent has to be on the school constantly. Often the public school, as much as you don't want your child to be there, offers the best services and program for the child.


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