A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Turn, Turn Turn....

I had a very upsetting morning but its sort of getting better...sort of. This morning #3 was being very difficult walking to school today. He was fooling around a lot, and it was upsetting #1, who has Asperger's (very high functioning...you might not notice it most of the time, though his inflections in speech can be a bit off sometimes, and he does have some quirks) and ADHD. #1 starting spinning around, screeching and flapping his hands because he felt #3 was walking too slowly and after asking #3 to stop fooling around several times, I guess spinning around was his way of dealing with it. I managed to calm him down and we proceeded walking. Then, as we approached the school, we heard the bell ring to line up to go in. I told #1 I would watch him go down the path to the school, as we usually do. He started screeching half way down the path all the way to where his aide was standing, because #3 made us a bit late. I could hear him screeching from the parking lot. I wanted to go to him, but he was already on his way inside and it would have been too difficult to shlep the other four, especially with the way #3 is behaving today. I found this whole part of the morning very upsetting. I felt like crying and later on, I did. (not in front of the kids of course) #2 and #3 asked why #1 was behaving that way. I never actually sat down and explained to them about #1's Asperger's. I don't want him treated differently or for them to think something is wrong with their brother, or for #1 to think something is wrong with himself. I wonder if there are books for siblings on Asperger's syndrome to help them understand about #1.

Also, #1 has these two kids at school who are bothering him :( yesterday they hid his backpack during the first part of the afternoon and watched him start screeching and having a melt down until it was found. I was very upset to read this in his communication journal. I phoned his teacher who told me these two boys are having detention the next day (which is today.) I told #1 to stay away from the 2 boys. #1 doesn't realize these boys are NOT his friends, and his teacher said he kept coming up to them to chat, making the problem worse. I asked that they be kept apart, and the teacher said he does in his class, but during the times when #1 is integrated, its hard for the teacher for the regular class to do that in a class of 20. #1 has an educational assistant, why can't she make sure he is kept away from them? I hope #1 remembers my advice and stays away from those 2 boys today.

Then, I went to the diet doctor, who actually is very nice. His 23 year old nurse needs to work on her bed side manner though. G_d wiling when I am a nurse I will not treat people like cattle, the way she did. I asked ahead of time if I could bring my triple stroller. I guess the nurse (who is not yet married or has kids) did not understand how big it would be. She rudely told me my stroller is blocking everything and in the way. I told her I have a double, and she told me next time bring that. I told her, just wait till you have kids one day :) she just smiled. I made her smile. yay. I was never told I had to fast, as I was getting blood work. I did not know I was even getting bloodwork done. So I have to go tomorrow first thing, and then I have to call them back up and book a 2 hour meeting to go over the diet, food journal, etc. and I will have to go every week for a weigh in and meeting with the doc. She would not let me book the consultation now. I have to first go for the bloodwork and then call. I can see myself having some verbal sparring with her some day if she does not stop her condescending way of speaking to people. I thought people became nurses because they want to HELP people, and have some compassion. At least, that is why I want to be a nurse. I can not see myself speaking to patients rudely, no matter how busy I am with things.
The doctor looks almost exactly like Dr. House and sort of talks like him too LOL. He was very polite and friendly to me, and I liked his bedside manner though its only my first time meeting him. I know from other patients he can get rude if you do not follow the diet, understandably. He told me to continue eating my normal diet until after the 2 hr. consultation to go over the new diet. I was 110 pounds before I had kids. I know I will probably never be a size 6 again, I am almost 10 years older now, but if I could be 120 I will be happy. If you set your mind to a goal, no matter how hard it may be, if you want to do it with all your heart, you will daven hard and do what it takes to get there :) That is how I feel. (remind me of that when I am starving my butt off and want chocolate LOL)

Then, later, I came home and had to discuss with certain extended family members who called why #1 would have trouble going to a Jewish Sunday school (as the Jewish day schools here are not equipped to help special needs, and the one school that does would not take him as his he needs an educational assistant to keep him focused, and they don't have one for him, so he goes to public school in a special education class, the Autism team from the school district comes to observe him and give his teachers a better way to help him. that would not happen in a private school setting.) if #1 can't sit for 20 minutes in regular school without a body break, and a game break (he gets up to move around for 10 minutes after doing a few assignments, several times a day. it helps him stay focused) how can he sit through an hour or two?? even with a *shadow* whom I feel would not be qualified unless they are an educational assistant or child youth worker, and has experience with Asperger's kids with ADHD. I don't want some 16 year old Bais Yaakov girl doing it. It won't work well for him. He needs an adult to be his shadow. and he won' be able to sit in a class of 20 kids. he has 10 kids in his class at school and much more than that would overwhelm him. It would not be good. I need to find a nice tutor for him to come over. the last one did not work out well. (he had too many other commitments and kept not showing up). His bar mitzvah is 6 years away IY"H. I really need to get him a tutor.

Anyway, I feel mopey and am going to go relax now.


  • At 3:29 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You poor thing. Wow you had a full day. Hang in there. It's good that you took some time to cry because that will help you feel better (at least a little better).

  • At 4:30 p.m., Blogger mameloshn said…

    There's a list of links concerning Asperger's Syndrome:

    Perhaps you find some needful information there.
    Best wishes to you and your family!

  • At 4:40 p.m., Blogger mameloshn said…

    Oh well, the link came not out right. I try again:


    I had to break up the link into several lines. Otherwise it would not come out right.....

  • At 5:08 p.m., Blogger Yiddishkeit said…

    Thanks :)


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