A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Very very upset :(

I just got a phone call from #1's school. They asked has anything changed at home, routines, food, anything. I told them no, nothing has changed (nothing has.) and I was puzzled why the teacher was even asking. Apparently #1's behaviour has been escalating since last week. Today the principal was down the hall observing another class and heard #1 screaming and sobbing. #1 tried to look in the teacher's desk drawers, and the teacher, understandably told him no, and #1 persisted in trying anyway, thus the noise racket and resulting in the principal running down the hall to see what the hell was going on in there. The teacher put in a call to the autism team at the school board, and then phoned me. I am so upset. I had noticed #1 has seemed more agitated these past two weeks, and he asked me weird questions, like, when he cried a lot as a baby, did we hold him? of course we did! this kid was constantly held. We love him very very much and that is what I told him too. (he saw a video of himself as a baby at my friend's son's b-day party, and #1 was crying in the video (he was 1 yrs old in the video). The teacher told me #1 does what he wants when he wants to and if told no, he is defiant and screams. I feel like my heart is breaking, because my son is so loving and affectionate, and yes, he can be stubborn, but we redirect him to other activities when he gets upset and then he is fine. I have no idea why he is behaving this way at school. The teacher said #1 was upset because after his outburst, the other kids in the class were looking at him, so he started screaming about them staring. #1's teacher and aide said maybe he is getting sick. The other day he complained about his ear but then he told me it was not hurting anymore since then, and I asked him last night and this morning and he said his ear is fine. In any case, he is going to the pediatrician tomorrow at 10:40 a.m. We're going to have everything checked out physically and I am going to tell the pediatrician whats been going on in school and see what he recommends. The teacher said my son was ruining his class. I told him something is making my son upset at school, I just want him to be happy. Neither of us have any clue what is setting him off. I just hope that the aide and teacher are right about #1 just not feeling well and thats why he is acting different. I'll find out tomorrow.


  • At 8:53 a.m., Blogger Joe Bruzzese said…

    Wow, sounds like the little guy is having a tough time. Question for you, when you said, "we just want him to be happy" did you mean, "we want him to be able to do what he wants to do" or "we want him to enjoy participating with the other kids at school"? As a former elementary school teacher turned teacher educator I have spent a fair amount of time in classrooms and with teachers. I wonder how your son's teacher is helping him learn to be a valuable member of the group. I also wonder about how you can support what happens at school by reinforcing some of the same attitudes at home.

  • At 3:46 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow, that's much to be upset about. It's hard because you want the best for your child and it doesn't always work out that way.

    Hang in there.

  • At 7:04 p.m., Blogger Yiddishkeit said…

    I meant I want him to enjoy being with the other kids at school and to have a positive learning experience. #1 can't do what he wants all the time..that's not the way it works in the world. The autism team came down to the school today to observe and give the teacher some more ideas to help #1 in the class.

  • At 11:00 p.m., Blogger Joe Bruzzese said…

    wonderful to hear that you are looking for a team of support to help out #1. Caring parents lead to amazing kids.


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