A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Update on my dad

I just found out my dad will be in the hospital till Wednesday. I will post more later. He does not have a room right now.

Frustrated!

I am so frustrated and annoyed right now. My dad, who has been suffering greatly since my grandmother died this past August is finally at the hospital getting the help he really needs. and all my mother cares about is that he is not picking up my sister tomorrow and going to see her. First of all, they are divorced! for years, like 11 years???? second of all, my dad is finally getting help and all she care about is herself, that she can't get her stupid donut from dunkin donuts. I yelled at her and then got quickly off the phone with her. I phoned my sister who told me I did the right thing and is really annoyed at her too. It really annoys me. My dad has been suffering for 3 months and is having a nervous breakdown. My sister said she is not sure if they are going to hold him for 72 hours or not, but hopefully he will get the anti depressants he needs to function and enjoy life again.


Today we picked up the report from the psychoeducational assessment. It basically said everything we were expecting, the ADHD and Asperger's and also goes into detail about #1's learning disability. The psychologist recommended leaving him at his current school for another year and then switching him as the Asperger's program we were thinking of only goes up to grade 4 and he would have to switch schools again, and I think that is just too much for him. I would like the next switch to be his last until high school.


Tomorrow night I have parent/teacher conferences for #2. #1's was Thursday night. I am feeling pissy and annoyed right now so I will post more later after I know more about how my dad is doing at the hospital. Hasn't my family been through enough the past few months?? When will it get better for my father???

Sunday, November 23, 2008

ADHD and fish oil??

Well, we finished the psycho-educational assessment for #1. We will find out the results next Sunday. The psychologist did say he definitely has full blown Asperger's, ADHD, and learning disabilities. We will find out what kind of learning disabilities next Sunday. She mentioned it and I forgot..ironically enough, its something to do with #1's memory ability LOL, among a few other things. She will also give us a list of websites that will help #1, and some websites to give hubby and me some info. I think I would like to join the Asperger's Society so we can get discounts on some of the programming that could help #1 with social skills. I also want to look into fish oils. My son's speech therapist said its proven to be helpful with kids with ADHD with their attention spans. #1 has the triple whammy..Aspergers, ADHD, and a learning disability. She said a teacher with a lot of experience teaching Asperger kids would be helpful. I got #1's name on a waiting list for the high functioning Asperger's class for September. The co-ordinator's office called me back telling me, he needs a diagnosis..and I told them, he has 2! psychologists! saying he has Aspergers! I have 2 reports saying this!! Doh. She said to bring the report with me to the IPRC meeting in February/March. They won't let me see the Asperger's class unless #1 is going to be enrolled in it. My mother in law's cousin's daughter in law is a teacher at the school, and supposedly this is a good class. G-d wiling it is I hope for #1's sake. I really do not want to have a repeat of this year. It seems like #1's teaching assistant and teacher have no experience with Asperger's and seem shocked when #1 makes inappropriate comments. (he is often focused on religion, asking kids in the class who is Jewish, and making comments about his aide's religious observance, inappropriate comments.) the psychologist told me to tell his aide that he has Asperger's and just ignore the innappropriate comments. I would like to enroll #1 in some social skills classes, but its so damn expensive..between $650 to 800 dollars.

In other news..I am sick :( I have a bad cold for the past week and my sinuses are really painful, its making my back right molar ache, and these past two days I have been feeling exhausted after just doing one or two chores. Good thing I am going to my doc tomrrow for my b-12 injection so maybe she can see if I have a sinus infection. I feel crappy. I seem to have such a weak immune system ever since having #5. I am not sure if its because I am constantly on antibiotics for my chronic UTI's from my prolapse, or because I never get enough rest.

Okay, I am going to try again to convince #1 #2 and #3 and #5 to go to sleep, AGAIN. they are all up playing with #3's Vtech cars computer I got for his 5th birthday (which was this past friday!! my baby!!! :) At least #4 is sleeping. Hubby is babysitting my brother in law while my mother in law gets my father in law from work.

Nitey nite..

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's snowing!

ARG! it's too early for this! :) Now I will have to shovel in the morning, and #1's bus will be late. On top of it all, me have a cold and sinus pain. waah :P

Anyway, today I got a call from a pushy mom who I know from the Jewish day school. She kept trying to convince me to let her arrange for #4, #3, and #2 to get a ride home, but I kept telling her no thanks. I want to do it myself. and then she kept going on and on about how tired I must be, and how do I manage, etc. It was really bugging me. Yes, I am tired, but I enjoy picking up my kids from school, even if #1and #3 can be a bit wild. She seemed kind of phoney to me. especially people who don't take NO for an answer.

I took #4 to the doc today. yesterday afternoon she had a fever of 101. I called a doc who makes house calls who checked her over and could not see a cause for her fever. I gave her motrin, and she was okay. She woke up today with no fever, but because of her cough, I had her rechecked by her pediatrician who also said she was okay. It must have been a virus. But he made a comment, to her saying, Oh, you are so good. I don't know who taught you to be so good but you are. I am thinking, what the HELL is that supposed to mean? I was a bit insulted. Yes, #1 and #3 are a handful, they are busy, but my girls are very calm and well behaved. and #1 has asperger's and ADHD. #3 just likes to impress #1 with his antics. Most of my friends told me I am just being overly sensitive, but one of my NJ friends said she would have been insulted too. My mother in law says I am reading too much into it, it was just a cute comment he was making to #4. I do have a bad habit of reading way too much into things. Oh well.. I guess my kids are not cute little perfect robots like his grandkids. His perfect daughter has kids who go to school with my kids. I took her off my friend list on facebook because I just could not stomach it anymore, with how perfect her life is, with her expensive sheitel, manolo blahnik shoes, etc. Sheesh. If I had another pediatrician that was just as good, I would probably switch.

Tomorrow I go food shopping, and try to take it easy, as I feel achy from this darn cold. I will post more later.

and an update on my dad: he quit his job. sigh. I am really worried about what will be with him.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Grief

Okay..this is my first post since my grandmother passed away. I am ready to start blogging again. It's been a very busy past few months, and somewhat stressful. My father is having a very bad time in Florida, he has no real income, no place to live. He is living with my aunt and cousin, but they are moving back to New Jersey, so my dad has to move back in with his sister (my crazy alcoholic aunt). He sent a suicide note to my friend's father and disappeared for several hours last Sunday and shut off his cell phone. A friend of mine who is a doctor felt he should voluntarily admit himself to the e.r. and then the hospital would apply for emergency medicaid for him and he could get his Paxil and Welbutrin. but he refused. I was very frustrated with him for not getting emergency help. At least he came back home. He was trying to drive back to New Jersey..but where in New Jersey I have no clue. His house is sold..I am worried sick about him. I told him he is welcome to stay with me and my family but he can't work in Canada..so that is not such a good option..but at least he would have a roof over his head and meals, and he would be with real family who cares about him, not like my aunt (his sister) who won't even let him drink the water from the fridge, and woke him up at 1 am to tell him he owes her 26 cents (she was drunk).


Besides that stress, I am very upset with #1's current school. I should have listened to his aide last year who told me off the record that I should switch programs. I made a big mistake by not investigating other classes. But this year I am NOT going to make the same mistake. I am already looking into the high functioning Asperger's class at another school. We are having another psycho-educational assessment, as the last one was 3 years ago, and the psychologist who tested him recommended having another one at this time to see the changes in his learning disability. He has one session left, and then we will get results. The psychologist said he definitely has high functioning Asperger's and ADHD. She is concerned that if I switch him to an Asperger's class, where there are 9 other kids like him, that his behaviour will worsen. She told me to ask to observe it, and make sure all the kids are behaved, and none of them act out, etc, and that the class is very structured. I am in the middle of trying to arrange this. The co-ordinator is very hard to get ahold of and NEVER returns phone calls. Sigh.

I am not happy with #1's teacher or the principal or vice principal. #1's teacher called on Yom Tov saying "I'm not religious, I know you are..so I am calling you. Hope you don't mind. You owe the library 7 dollars." He could have waited one day. This was NOT an emergency. He made a comment about us living in a "Jewish ghetto" and that us orthodox Jews usually stick together and don't mingle with outsiders" Very anti-frum. I am NOT happy. Then, the principal says #1 missing days for the Jewish holidays (she was complaining about Sukkot) was very disruptive for him. Well, its YOM TOV. I am not going to violate Yom Tov! This is the problem when you are Orthodox and have to send your kids to a secular school where many people are ignorant of Jewish holidays, and halacha. Now with candle lighting so early I need to pick up #1 after lunch time on Fridays, before recess (his educational assistant chose the time for me to pick up. I was going to pick up at 2 pm but she told me to do it after lunch as #1 will be in recess at that time I chose to pick him up) I wrote the principal a note and everything and now she is acting like she had no clue I would be picking him up early. She stands there with her arms crossed acting surprised I am picking him up now. Every time I take #1 to school, my stomach is in knots and I am anxious all day worried what's doing at his school. Starting tomorrow #1 will be bussed to school again so at least I only have to deal with junk at pick up time and on Fridays when I actually have to go into the school. It did not help that #1 announced at his speech session that "mommy hates "insert school name here". I never actually said those words but #1 inferred it from my complaints about his school to my hubby. I really hope the high functioning Asperger's class is an option for September. There is no way in HELL I am giving my consent for another year of this crap.

Another thing that REALLY annoyed me about #1's school: I walk him to school, and watch him on the playground until the teacher on yard duty comes out. I give him a bit of distance as I have 4 other kids with me, and it would be very difficult to get them off the play ground equipment, but I am near by, watching him closely. Well the teacher on duty told #1's teacher I was NOT there! I was so pissed. I called the principal and I said how can she say that when she chatted with me and my other kids??? I was very upset. Yes, I over reacted. The situation did not call for me to be so upset, but I felt like they are busting my chops. The principal told the yard duty teacher as long as I am there supervising him I don't need to be arm's length from him. #1's aide is not even arm's length at recess or lunch time for him! #1 is right though, I really do dislike his school.
I hope next year will be better, in a place that actually is right for him. And one more thing, his teacher made a comment to me about another student not being the "sharpest crayon in the box, and he mentioned the other student by name" that is very unprofessional! If i were that kids mom I would be furious!

Anyway, I am going to try to relax a bit now :) I promise I won't disappear again for months without blogging. I will try to blog later this week IY"H.