A day in the life of a mother

This blog is about a day in the life of a frum (orthodox Jewish) mother with small children.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Baby Nostalgia

I know I have my hands full, B"H with my 5. Baruch Hashem, I have been truly blessed. I could not imagine having a 6th, even if I were able to be pregnant again, which I can't, due to a tubal ligation I had gotten a heter for after my fifth. But man..I really really miss being pregnant and having a itty bitty tiny baby. I was watching this movie before, Waitress, with Kerri Russel, and at the end, when she is holding her new baby, and then watching her grow, I realized I won't ever hold a new baby again in my arms that is my own. G-d willing I will hold my grandkids.. It was my own choice to have the ligation, I don't regret it at all, having #5 in NICU for a week and me bleeding so bad it took 3 drugs to stop it and almost needing a transfusion, and then me severely bleeding again after I was discharged from the hospital..I couldn't risk my life again to be pregnant But boy, do I miss the feeling of the baby kicking, and the excitement of hearing the heart beat and seeing the baby on ultrasound for the first time. and how when the baby is born my husband got so excited and just beamed from ear to ear. I think I will ask one of my friends if I can hold their baby :) I don't miss the sleepless nights a new baby brings for sure. Remind me of this tomorrow when all 5 of my kids are making tons of noise. LOL.
#5 is out of pull ups officially, so my diaper days are officially over.. :)

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