A day in the life of a mother

Every Parent's Worst Nightmare

2008-12-25T12:42:00.006-05:00

I lived through every parent's worst nightmare yesterday. Before I continue this post, I must assure you #5 is now okay, thank G-d, B"H. I am so grateful to Hashem that she is okay. #5, who has been suffering the stomach flu since this past Sunday, and whom I took twice to the walk in clinic, wouldn't wake up yesterday. She was breathing but limp in my arms. I lay her back on the bed and gently shook her, and said wake up, and she just whimpered, and half opened her eyes. She was so pale. Hubby put her on her feet, and she started to walk, but not normally. I ran downstairs and called Hatzolah, a Jewish volunteer EMT service who come right away and call 911 for you and stays with you until the ambulance comes and the EMTs from the ambulance take over. Hatzolah tested her blood sugar, and it was 2. Normal is 3 and above. They had me give he some juice, but she still would not come around. Her pulse was fast, and her body temp was only 95.7 degree celcius. normal is 98.6. I was totally freaking out. I was on the phone with the 911 dispatcher, and I started crying. so the 911 lady goes, is there more to the situation that your not telling me? I was thinking what the hell?? I told her, you would cry too if you saw your baby lying there unconscious!! she said she was sorry for asking, but she's seen a lot in her career, and she had to ask. She said she is a mom too and she can understand how I am feeling. I got myself together but was still really freaking out. I mean, I am anxious on a good day to begin with. As soon as the ambulance came, and assessed her, her blood sugar was up to 2.8 but she was still not really responsive, but at least her eyes were open finally. We got into the ambulance, hubby stayed with the other kids and took a vacation day, but I forgot her socks. (she was barefoot. at least I grabbed her coat). We rushed to the hospital, ambulance wailing the whole way. They put us right into the resuscitation room. The doctor was young but very nice. The emts gave #5 glucagon on the way there so she was much more alert at this point but still very weak. The nurse was so nice, and reassuring. but I could tell the situation was very serious. The doctor gave her a head to toe exam, and asked me about #5's stomach flu, and said he might admit her over night. In the mean time, #5 was able to sit up and we put her on the potty (she is trained, B"H) and she gave them a urine sample. He said because she was throwing up and having diarrhea, and not eating much, her body used up its energy stores, and that caused her blood sugar to drop so low. but she is not in danger anymore. , the doc said we can go into a normal e.r. room at that point and she would be given some juice and carbs. She didn't need an IV because she was able to keep things down. She had not thrown up since Sunday and diarrhea stopped Monday night. tuesday it was just loose stool. but her body had lost a lot of fluids during that time. The nurse told me when we first came in she thought it was the worst possible case for #5 and she is so glad #5 will be okay. I told her good thing she didn't tell me that when we came in or I would really have been a bigger basket case than I already was.

So we go into a regular e.r. room and #5 had juice. Then the nurse took her sugar again and it was 6. Then I was allowed to give her some breakfast cereal and more juice. The nurses gave her a pretty smilely face ring and some coloring pages and crayons. #5's skin color pinked up, and she started being herself again. She even colored the wall LOL. I was much calmer by this point as my little one was back to normal. After a few hours of regular blood sugar checks, and observation that her behaviour was back to normal, i.e. she was perky, standing up on the bed, wanting to walk around the e.r. the doc came and told us to follow up with the pediatrician. he said he is happy she colored on the wall, that he would rather see that any day then the way she was when we arrived. They called it hypoglycemic lethargy. he gave me a copy of the e.r. report to give to my pediatrician.

I went to my pediatrician late afternoon. #5 is okay, B"H. One thing I noticed was at the hospital everyone kept asking me if we had diabetes in my family. the pediatrician asked me too. I told him no, and I was curious why everyone kept asking me. Apparently the most common reason for this to happen is if by accident a child ingests your medicine, like Metformin, etc. But B"H no one in my family is on any of these meds. Then the doc asked if #5 had any alchohol in her system. Nope. we dont' have alcohol in my house, none of us drink. we use grape juice on shabbos. The pediatrician told me because she had a few days of not eating much and losing a lot of fluids it used up her energy stores. basically waht the er. had said. I asked him how do I prevent this from happening again the next time she has the stomach flu? and he told me pedialyte. So being everything's closed today due to xmas, tomorrow I am going to buy some. I am always going to keep this in the house. I never want to live through a nightmare like this again. The pediatrician told me if her blood sugar had dropped below 2.0 she could have had a seizure. B"H she is okay. Lesson learned: PEDIALITE!!!!

Happy Chanukah!

2008-12-25T12:39:00.002-05:00

Apparently Erran Baron Cohen, who's Hebrew name is Yehoshua, misspelled his hebrew name on the spray paint in the background. After the clip was made, he found out it was misspelled, and was embarrassed when he found out what the misspelling meant. It is a funny clip, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Hope you will too. Happy Chanukah!

Pioneer no more...

2008-12-18T17:15:00.002-05:00

today #1 went on a class trip to a pioneer village. About 2 hours into it, I get a call from his teacher from his cell phone. #1 was really misbehaving, running around and touching everything and being very wired. The final straw was when he yelled into an fm device on a boy with a cochlear implant. The teacher had me talk to him and then we gave it another try. About a half hour later, the principal calls me to ask for permission for her to pick up #1 from the village and take him home to me. She said there was no point in him going back to school with the way he was behaving. So I said okay. I am very disappointed in #1. #1 is not allowed on the next class trip that is in a few months, the teacher said they will be going down town and we need to keep #1 safe, and his behavior today on the trip was not safe. Sigh.

Tomorrow might be a snow day, we are expecting a huge snow storm, and then more snow Sunday. I am hoping for a snow storm so I can stay home and relax (well, sort of try to relax anyway :)

My dad is discharged from the hospital again. He was admitted yesterday. I am really worried about him and puzzled as to why they released him when his depression is so severe..

Okay, got to go check on dinner to make sure its not burning and on #5 who I am in the middle of toilet training to make sure she does not need to use the facilities :)

I need a freaking vacation

2008-12-17T22:13:00.004-05:00

My dad is back in the hospital again. This time he is going to the depression ward and won't be discharged until he feels better.

In other crap news, today I was in the bakery, trying to pay for my stuff, when my debit card gave a weird error message saying, "limited use only" I was like what the hell does that mean? was my card skimmed? and just at that moment, my cell phone rang, and it was the fraud team at my bank asking me if I tried to withdraw $500 from an atm. I didn't. I was just trying to buy a loaf of bread. The fraud guy told me that my card was watched because I shopped in a place where others had their card skimmed so when they saw a large amount trying to be withdrawn, they declined it and froze my card. B"H! B"H! I had to go down and get a new temporary card and pin # and wait for a regular card to come in the mail. So my MIL, I called her freaking out because I was so shaken up..I've been mugged, robbed in the past, about 6 years ago, and now my card's been skimmed. for the second time in two years. Yes I am an anxious person... So I hear her trash talking me to her cousin. right in freaking front of me! HELLO! I CAN FREAKING HEAR U! I was yelling at #5 to stay close to me as she was attempting to play in the snow in the middle of the freaking parking lot and I was in a big rush to go home so I can get a lift to the bank to fix my account. I mean, if you are going to talk trash about someone at least wait until you hang up with that person!!. she was making rude comments about my anxiety. I really don't get her. I don't. She is nice to my face and then does this. I really can't stand phony people. I tell hubby, and he just said nothing. so I guess I will just say nothing too to her about it. I mean, she does help me, gives me lifts from food shopping, and sometimes picks me up a few things, and helps me shlep the kids to their dr appointments. I think she likes me, but whatever..I know she talks about me to all of her friends. it gets back to me sometimes. People only hear one side of the story on things. I am tired of her making me feel bad about myself. If I had a car or family here I would not ask her for lifts at all. what the hell am I supposed to do with my family thousands of miles away, and friends who work during the day? I need a car. damn it. it will probably be 15 years till I can afford one.

and you know what? unless you have had your purse snatched while walking at night, (BTW I was 8 months pregnant with #2) and then 3 months later come back from NJ and find all of your stuff gone, that some bastard has rummaged through your belongings and violated your sense of security you are really in no position at all to judge someone who is freaking out about having their card skimmed.

then, later, I get yet another call from my bank, this time to go over my other transactions and they tell me the fraud attempt happened in Montreal. How did my card # get all the way there?? the fraud guy tells me its a fraud ring and that's how it works. I feel very violated that someone tried to steal my life savings. B"H Hashem was watching over me and I did not lose a dime. I am just very grateful my card was being monitored by the security/fraud team. they would not tell me what place it got skimmed at. Now I am going to be really neurotic every time I use my card.

okay I have had enough for one night of internet.

Good night.
I am just very frustrated tonight.

Baby Nostalgia

2008-12-16T23:03:00.005-05:00

I know I have my hands full, B"H with my 5. Baruch Hashem, I have been truly blessed. I could not imagine having a 6th, even if I were able to be pregnant again, which I can't, due to a tubal ligation I had gotten a heter for after my fifth. But man..I really really miss being pregnant and having a itty bitty tiny baby. I was watching this movie before, Waitress, with Kerri Russel, and at the end, when she is holding her new baby, and then watching her grow, I realized I won't ever hold a new baby again in my arms that is my own. G-d willing I will hold my grandkids.. It was my own choice to have the ligation, I don't regret it at all, having #5 in NICU for a week and me bleeding so bad it took 3 drugs to stop it and almost needing a transfusion, and then me severely bleeding again after I was discharged from the hospital..I couldn't risk my life again to be pregnant But boy, do I miss the feeling of the baby kicking, and the excitement of hearing the heart beat and seeing the baby on ultrasound for the first time. and how when the baby is born my husband got so excited and just beamed from ear to ear. I think I will ask one of my friends if I can hold their baby :) I don't miss the sleepless nights a new baby brings for sure. Remind me of this tomorrow when all 5 of my kids are making tons of noise. LOL.
#5 is out of pull ups officially, so my diaper days are officially over.. :)

BRRR!

2008-12-10T19:54:00.002-05:00

It was so cold out this past week, but yesterday was slightly warmer. (28 Fahrenheit) However, we got a few inches of snow that melted and then froze over today so it was kind of hard to walk around. I didn't bother with the stroller and walked all 4 of them to school. Then I stop off at the bakery to buy bread and already its starting. The "its cold out you need to stay home all winter lecture" First of all, if you are dressed properly, which #5 was, in snow pants, a heavy jacket, gloves, and a hat, there is no reason not to take her out. Who the hell stays home all winter??? IF there was a wind chill warning, that's a different story, but there was NOT! why can't people shut the hell up and mind their damn business?? the next time I get a dirty look simply for being out with my kids walking in the winter I am so tempted to tell them to shove it. I think its a Toronto thing, I don't remember this happening when I was growing up in NJ.

In other news, my dad was in the hospital today. he was home alone and had a panic attack, and thought he was having trouble breathing, so he called 911. he was in the hospital all day, they ran tests and determined it was a panic attack. (he was at the hospital who took care of my grandma when she had her fatal heart attack.) THey won't treat him for his depression as he has no health insurance. My aunts want to bring him back to that horrible hospital again next week. I want him to get help but not at that horrible place. My sister is going to speak to my dad's psychologist and see if he can recommend some places my dad could go to that are better. I am so worried about my dad. he really is suffering.. :( Severe depression is just as serious as any physical disease..,its just as debilitating. Anyway hubby wants the computer now and I want to go relax and read..

yet another update on my dad

2008-12-03T11:45:00.004-05:00

The doctors at the hospital my dad was at are a bunch of incompetent morons. I wrote them a letter of complaint, not that it will do any good, but I felt I had to say something as to the horrible treatment my dad received there. First of all, my dad was there for depression only. My alcoholic aunt, in her ignorant stupidity, wrote on the intake form that my dad has deep emotional problems, instead of just depression. So right from the start my dad was treated rudely. For the first two days my dad was given his meds without any problem. Then, yesterday afternoon, the hospital psychiatrist, who maybe met with my dad for all of 5 minutes, told my dad it said in the file he was hallucinating and hearing voices and he is going to a psych. hospital. My sister and aunts were witness that my dad was okay except for depression., and none of this ever took place. Falsifying medical records are a criminal offense. That's the first thing the doctor did wrong. Second of all, my dad has sleep apnea and is on a c-pap machine to help him at night with breathing. He was not allowed to bring it to the hospital, so the hospital had one for him to use there. he could not be on the psych. ward on the hospital because of the machine. When my dad told the doc he is not going to the psych. hospital, the doc said, okay, then the depression ward of this hospital then, but we don't have a sleep apnea machine there. So my dad says, what happens when I stop breathing at night from my apnea?? and the doc said, if you cease breathing we'll bring you to ICU. that's strike 2 on this shmuck of a doctors part. My dad then called my other aunt, the controlling one, but luckily is normal otherwise pretty much, who called her lawyer. My aunt signed out my dad against medical advice, taking full responsibility for him. We are all so upset about my dad's treatment at the hospital. I hope my aunt pursues a law suit against the hospital. My aunt was so furious as was I and my sister on my dad's treatment there. At least my dad has his meds, but he is going to have to live with my alchoholic aunt soon and I don't know how he is supposed to get better living like that. He also has no job. I am worried sick about him. i wish he would just call that Lubavitch rabbi who tried to do kiruv with him, in NJ. I asked my NJ rabbi to help, but he had no ideas on how to help my dad. I was very disappointed. I am so worried what will be with my dad.

Anyway, its lunch time now, so I will post more later this week G-d willing.

Life

2008-12-01T12:45:00.002-05:00

My dad is in a room now. they started him on celexa and welbutrin, so hopefully it will help him. I am not sure when he is going to be discharged.

It is so hard to be far away when these things happen to your parents. Just like when my grandmother was niftar this past August and I was not able to see her or go to the levaya. it sucks. I can't visit my dad. My sister is going to visit him him this afternoon.

Update on my dad

2008-11-30T19:34:00.002-05:00

I just found out my dad will be in the hospital till Wednesday. I will post more later. He does not have a room right now.

Frustrated!

2008-11-30T19:22:00.002-05:00

I am so frustrated and annoyed right now. My dad, who has been suffering greatly since my grandmother died this past August is finally at the hospital getting the help he really needs. and all my mother cares about is that he is not picking up my sister tomorrow and going to see her. First of all, they are divorced! for years, like 11 years???? second of all, my dad is finally getting help and all she care about is herself, that she can't get her stupid donut from dunkin donuts. I yelled at her and then got quickly off the phone with her. I phoned my sister who told me I did the right thing and is really annoyed at her too. It really annoys me. My dad has been suffering for 3 months and is having a nervous breakdown. My sister said she is not sure if they are going to hold him for 72 hours or not, but hopefully he will get the anti depressants he needs to function and enjoy life again.

Today we picked up the report from the psychoeducational assessment. It basically said everything we were expecting, the ADHD and Asperger's and also goes into detail about #1's learning disability. The psychologist recommended leaving him at his current school for another year and then switching him as the Asperger's program we were thinking of only goes up to grade 4 and he would have to switch schools again, and I think that is just too much for him. I would like the next switch to be his last until high school.

Tomorrow night I have parent/teacher conferences for #2. #1's was Thursday night. I am feeling pissy and annoyed right now so I will post more later after I know more about how my dad is doing at the hospital. Hasn't my family been through enough the past few months?? When will it get better for my father???

ADHD and fish oil??

2008-11-23T20:53:00.005-05:00

Well, we finished the psycho-educational assessment for #1. We will find out the results next Sunday. The psychologist did say he definitely has full blown Asperger's, ADHD, and learning disabilities. We will find out what kind of learning disabilities next Sunday. She mentioned it and I forgot..ironically enough, its something to do with #1's memory ability LOL, among a few other things. She will also give us a list of websites that will help #1, and some websites to give hubby and me some info. I think I would like to join the Asperger's Society so we can get discounts on some of the programming that could help #1 with social skills. I also want to look into fish oils. My son's speech therapist said its proven to be helpful with kids with ADHD with their attention spans. #1 has the triple whammy..Aspergers, ADHD, and a learning disability. She said a teacher with a lot of experience teaching Asperger kids would be helpful. I got #1's name on a waiting list for the high functioning Asperger's class for September. The co-ordinator's office called me back telling me, he needs a diagnosis..and I told them, he has 2! psychologists! saying he has Aspergers! I have 2 reports saying this!! Doh. She said to bring the report with me to the IPRC meeting in February/March. They won't let me see the Asperger's class unless #1 is going to be enrolled in it. My mother in law's cousin's daughter in law is a teacher at the school, and supposedly this is a good class. G-d wiling it is I hope for #1's sake. I really do not want to have a repeat of this year. It seems like #1's teaching assistant and teacher have no experience with Asperger's and seem shocked when #1 makes inappropriate comments. (he is often focused on religion, asking kids in the class who is Jewish, and making comments about his aide's religious observance, inappropriate comments.) the psychologist told me to tell his aide that he has Asperger's and just ignore the innappropriate comments. I would like to enroll #1 in some social skills classes, but its so damn expensive..between $650 to 800 dollars.

In other news..I am sick :( I have a bad cold for the past week and my sinuses are really painful, its making my back right molar ache, and these past two days I have been feeling exhausted after just doing one or two chores. Good thing I am going to my doc tomrrow for my b-12 injection so maybe she can see if I have a sinus infection. I feel crappy. I seem to have such a weak immune system ever since having #5. I am not sure if its because I am constantly on antibiotics for my chronic UTI's from my prolapse, or because I never get enough rest.

Okay, I am going to try again to convince #1 #2 and #3 and #5 to go to sleep, AGAIN. they are all up playing with #3's Vtech cars computer I got for his 5th birthday (which was this past friday!! my baby!!! :) At least #4 is sleeping. Hubby is babysitting my brother in law while my mother in law gets my father in law from work.

Nitey nite..

It's snowing!

2008-11-19T22:20:00.003-05:00

ARG! it's too early for this! :) Now I will have to shovel in the morning, and #1's bus will be late. On top of it all, me have a cold and sinus pain. waah :P

Anyway, today I got a call from a pushy mom who I know from the Jewish day school. She kept trying to convince me to let her arrange for #4, #3, and #2 to get a ride home, but I kept telling her no thanks. I want to do it myself. and then she kept going on and on about how tired I must be, and how do I manage, etc. It was really bugging me. Yes, I am tired, but I enjoy picking up my kids from school, even if #1and #3 can be a bit wild. She seemed kind of phoney to me. especially people who don't take NO for an answer.

I took #4 to the doc today. yesterday afternoon she had a fever of 101. I called a doc who makes house calls who checked her over and could not see a cause for her fever. I gave her motrin, and she was okay. She woke up today with no fever, but because of her cough, I had her rechecked by her pediatrician who also said she was okay. It must have been a virus. But he made a comment, to her saying, Oh, you are so good. I don't know who taught you to be so good but you are. I am thinking, what the HELL is that supposed to mean? I was a bit insulted. Yes, #1 and #3 are a handful, they are busy, but my girls are very calm and well behaved. and #1 has asperger's and ADHD. #3 just likes to impress #1 with his antics. Most of my friends told me I am just being overly sensitive, but one of my NJ friends said she would have been insulted too. My mother in law says I am reading too much into it, it was just a cute comment he was making to #4. I do have a bad habit of reading way too much into things. Oh well.. I guess my kids are not cute little perfect robots like his grandkids. His perfect daughter has kids who go to school with my kids. I took her off my friend list on facebook because I just could not stomach it anymore, with how perfect her life is, with her expensive sheitel, manolo blahnik shoes, etc. Sheesh. If I had another pediatrician that was just as good, I would probably switch.

Tomorrow I go food shopping, and try to take it easy, as I feel achy from this darn cold. I will post more later.

and an update on my dad: he quit his job. sigh. I am really worried about what will be with him.

Grief

2008-11-18T10:36:00.003-05:00

Okay..this is my first post since my grandmother passed away. I am ready to start blogging again. It's been a very busy past few months, and somewhat stressful. My father is having a very bad time in Florida, he has no real income, no place to live. He is living with my aunt and cousin, but they are moving back to New Jersey, so my dad has to move back in with his sister (my crazy alcoholic aunt). He sent a suicide note to my friend's father and disappeared for several hours last Sunday and shut off his cell phone. A friend of mine who is a doctor felt he should voluntarily admit himself to the e.r. and then the hospital would apply for emergency medicaid for him and he could get his Paxil and Welbutrin. but he refused. I was very frustrated with him for not getting emergency help. At least he came back home. He was trying to drive back to New Jersey..but where in New Jersey I have no clue. His house is sold..I am worried sick about him. I told him he is welcome to stay with me and my family but he can't work in Canada..so that is not such a good option..but at least he would have a roof over his head and meals, and he would be with real family who cares about him, not like my aunt (his sister) who won't even let him drink the water from the fridge, and woke him up at 1 am to tell him he owes her 26 cents (she was drunk).

Besides that stress, I am very upset with #1's current school. I should have listened to his aide last year who told me off the record that I should switch programs. I made a big mistake by not investigating other classes. But this year I am NOT going to make the same mistake. I am already looking into the high functioning Asperger's class at another school. We are having another psycho-educational assessment, as the last one was 3 years ago, and the psychologist who tested him recommended having another one at this time to see the changes in his learning disability. He has one session left, and then we will get results. The psychologist said he definitely has high functioning Asperger's and ADHD. She is concerned that if I switch him to an Asperger's class, where there are 9 other kids like him, that his behaviour will worsen. She told me to ask to observe it, and make sure all the kids are behaved, and none of them act out, etc, and that the class is very structured. I am in the middle of trying to arrange this. The co-ordinator is very hard to get ahold of and NEVER returns phone calls. Sigh.

I am not happy with #1's teacher or the principal or vice principal. #1's teacher called on Yom Tov saying "I'm not religious, I know you are..so I am calling you. Hope you don't mind. You owe the library 7 dollars." He could have waited one day. This was NOT an emergency. He made a comment about us living in a "Jewish ghetto" and that us orthodox Jews usually stick together and don't mingle with outsiders" Very anti-frum. I am NOT happy. Then, the principal says #1 missing days for the Jewish holidays (she was complaining about Sukkot) was very disruptive for him. Well, its YOM TOV. I am not going to violate Yom Tov! This is the problem when you are Orthodox and have to send your kids to a secular school where many people are ignorant of Jewish holidays, and halacha. Now with candle lighting so early I need to pick up #1 after lunch time on Fridays, before recess (his educational assistant chose the time for me to pick up. I was going to pick up at 2 pm but she told me to do it after lunch as #1 will be in recess at that time I chose to pick him up) I wrote the principal a note and everything and now she is acting like she had no clue I would be picking him up early. She stands there with her arms crossed acting surprised I am picking him up now. Every time I take #1 to school, my stomach is in knots and I am anxious all day worried what's doing at his school. Starting tomorrow #1 will be bussed to school again so at least I only have to deal with junk at pick up time and on Fridays when I actually have to go into the school. It did not help that #1 announced at his speech session that "mommy hates "insert school name here". I never actually said those words but #1 inferred it from my complaints about his school to my hubby. I really hope the high functioning Asperger's class is an option for September. There is no way in HELL I am giving my consent for another year of this crap.

Another thing that REALLY annoyed me about #1's school: I walk him to school, and watch him on the playground until the teacher on yard duty comes out. I give him a bit of distance as I have 4 other kids with me, and it would be very difficult to get them off the play ground equipment, but I am near by, watching him closely. Well the teacher on duty told #1's teacher I was NOT there! I was so pissed. I called the principal and I said how can she say that when she chatted with me and my other kids??? I was very upset. Yes, I over reacted. The situation did not call for me to be so upset, but I felt like they are busting my chops. The principal told the yard duty teacher as long as I am there supervising him I don't need to be arm's length from him. #1's aide is not even arm's length at recess or lunch time for him! #1 is right though, I really do dislike his school.
I hope next year will be better, in a place that actually is right for him. And one more thing, his teacher made a comment to me about another student not being the "sharpest crayon in the box, and he mentioned the other student by name" that is very unprofessional! If i were that kids mom I would be furious!

Anyway, I am going to try to relax a bit now :) I promise I won't disappear again for months without blogging. I will try to blog later this week IY"H.

Kaddish

2008-09-03T12:45:00.002-04:00

sorry I had not posted in a week. Its been hard since my grandma's passing. Her funeral was awful :( I found out she was embalmed, made to wait 5 days after her passing to be buried, and had open casket for an hour, and also was buried in a steel casket. suffice it to say, this is not according to Jewish customs regarding burial and treatment of the body. Its disrespectful to the extreme. I am sort of glad I did not come to the funeral. I could not be witness to this. No one was saying kaddish for her. my dad is not frum and was afraid to call a rabbi to arrange a minyan for the week of shiva. but he is not even really sitting shiva as he is working part time this week :( my other aunts are also not sitting shiva. one thinks of herself as a christian, the other one just does not understand. Weird things were happening. my mezuzah fell off the door frame to my room, my grandmother's chanukah card was found under my daughter's bed when I was cleaning. This morning, for some weird reason, iphoto opened up, as it somehow got switched to open at login and my grandma's photo popped up. I was speaking to this Lubavitch lady who was telling me a neshama gets trapped and can not move on if no one is saying kaddish. I loved my grandma very much and even though I have been unable to visit her in the last several years due to not being able to afford the trip, etc. I need to do this for my grandma, even though its a financial hardship. I want her neshama to be at rest. I went to Lubavitch today and the rabbi there told me I could make monthly payments of 50 dollars a month for 10 months on my charge card. So I did that. I hope now my grandma's soul will have an aliyah. I miss her terrilbly. her smile could have lit up the world. She was always so happy. I am glad I am able to do this last thing for her. I also plan on IY"H donating a siddur in her name for her shloshim and possibly sponsoring a shalosh seudos on her first yahrzeit. if that proves to be too expensive for the shalosh seudos, then I will donate money to the torah fund in her name. we'll see how we are financially next august.

Memories of Grandma

2008-08-27T21:00:00.007-04:00

I am having such a hard time. I miss her so much. My heart is broken that I can not attend the levaya in Florida on Sunday to say goodbye and have some closure. I am upset that my grandma is in a Jewish funeral home that is not frum, with no one saying tehillim for her to comfort her neshama. She is not having a traditional Jewish burial. there won't be a shroud for her and I don't even know if her casket will be pine. At least my dad convinced my eldest aunt to have a closed casket ,and no music. I know my family is not frum, but it hurts me to see these things being done that I know is just not the right way. My dad and my other, more normal aunt will be saying kaddish at the graveside, but my eldest aunt has lost all trace of her yiddishkeit and denounced it, as she is convinced she is a Christian, "born again", even though her own mother was Jewish. My dad said after the funeral Sunday, he is not speaking to my eldest aunt any more. I am having trouble falling asleep at night knowing my grandmother is alone waiting burial with no one to comfort her. I also keep thinking about her last moments and how my dad and sister and aunts were there. My sister described to me in detail how peaceful it was, but it is just so sad too to say good bye to the one you love.

Here are some memories of my grandma:

My grandma just LOVED feeding the ducks by the pond in Florida. All the time :) she even named them. She named one of them Crazy, but I am not sure how it got that nick name. I remember when she came up from Florida to visit us how we would go into the backyard and scatter bread and watch all the birds come to eat it.

I remember how she used to hang up the clothes on the line in the summer. My sister and I used to walk through it and enjoy the nice smell and the dampness against our skin of the wet clothes on the hot summer days..

I remember the funny stories she used to tell: how the street light that was flickering will change into a butterfly, how eating cold chinese food makes you grow hair on your teeth (LOL). I remember her singing little songs, like tiny bubbles in the air, and also is that all there is.

I remember her love of garage sales. I inherited that from her LOL. She used to make my dad stop at every one we passed when she visited us in NJ

I remember the warm hugs she used to give us, and how soft and gentle she was. She was always smiling. She always laughed. :) she always had these cute sayings, and also spoke fluent Yiddish. I did not know this until just now but apparently she always said the bedtime Shema with my aunt. (the younger one).

I have too many memories to put down here, but suffice it to say my grandmother's passing is a great loss to us all. She had a real spark to her, and even when her health began to decline this past year, she still was smiling and cheerful most of the time.

I wish I had the insight to know my small chat with Grandma last week would be our last. I am glad my dad handed her the phone. There is so much more I would have said had I known it would have been the last time. Never leave things unsaid with anyone. When my grandmother lay in the hospital comatose, and brain dead, my dad held the phone to her ear so I could talk with her. I know her neshama heard me, at least I like to think she heard me. I wish more than anything I could have been there in her final moments along with my family. My heart breaks that there is no one to say kaddish for her for 11 months and that my dad who is earning very little right now, can not really afford to pay someone 600 dollars for saying kaddish. My dad and aunts are so depressed right now. I really wish I could be there with them. Monday my dad is sitting shiva all alone :( one aunt refuses to acknowledge her yiddishkeit, the other is going to a Labour day party. Sigh. :( my sister already took off this week and needs to go back to work monday. I wish I could be there to support my dad. :(

We will miss you Grandma, more than anything. Always know how much we loved you, and your memory will never be forgotten.

In memory of Grandma Aug 4, 1924-Aug 26, 2008

Don't stand by my grave and weep,
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond's glint in the snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
In the soft blush of the morning light
I am the swift bird in flight.
Don't stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there,
I did not die.

Unknown Native American Author

God saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put His arms around you
And whispered “Come with Me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you suffer
And saw you fade away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Laying loving hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

Baruch Dayan Emes

2008-08-26T18:16:00.002-04:00

Baruch dayan emes. My grandmother passed away today at 11:25 am. My dad had asked me to find a rabbi to come to her bedside yesterday. I phoned my rabbi who told me to call chabad. after an hour of phone calls, and getting all answering machines, I got ahold of an actual person, who told the rabbi of my situation, and without even knowing me in person, but only through voice, he arranged for a Lubavitch rav to come to my grandmother. He said Vidui for her, and a few other prayers. She coded last night 3 times, and then this morning the hospice team came down with her two doctors to make a decision. The rabbi had said it was okay to let her go,, as the doc had mentioned yesterday about no more resuscitation. so the doctor shut off the ventilator this morning, as she had only brain stem activity, and her blood pressure was 60/23, and at one point was like 40/20. she was cold to the touch, non responsive to any stimuli. She passed away very peacefully shortly after the ventilator was shut off. I miss her more than anything. Always appreciate the loved ones you have here on earth. you never know when time is up. I can't even go to the funeral. I can't afford the flight, my family also can't afford the flight. It upsets me that my aunts and dad are waiting to sunday for the funeral, instead of the one or two days you are supposed to bury someone. it was my eldest aunt's decision, and she is quite bossy and controlling. My dad and my other aunt are trying to speak with her, but its too late as my aunt already booked the date. My eldest aunt had converted to born again christianity a long time ago but seems respectful of Judaism, but she wants to play music at the funeral which is very disrespectful and inappropriate. I am sure the Jewish funeral home will not allow this and I told my dad he should tell her they do not play music at Jewish funerals. In fact someone who loses a parent is supposed to refrain from listening to music for 11 months. I know my dad and extended family is not frum, but still. I tried to arrange for my dad to have someone say kaddish for my grandma for 11 months after shiva is over but I can't afford it, its 600 dollars. My rabbi told me to have my dad contact someone in Florida to try to arrange it. I am not sure if he will or not..my rabbi told me its my dad's mitzvah and it has to be him to arrange this.

Anyway, I feel very upset and am going out now. I will post more later.

anyway,

My Grandma

2008-08-24T05:44:00.005-04:00

It's a quarter to six in the morning. I've been up most the night unable to sleep, and spent half of that crying off and on. Yesterday seemed like a normal day for my 84 year old, K"AH, grandma. She had her hair done, my dad fed her lunch. But then, it started becoming not normal so fast. You never wake up and say today's the last day I will be able to talk to my loved one. Today's the last day I will have with my loved one at home. You don't realize how much time you have or what you could have or should have done until that time has passed and you can no longer do or say these things. My dad fed her lunch, and shortly after lunch my grandma started to throw up. While he was cleaning her up, she had an accident on the other end, after he cleaned that up, she started shaking. My dad asked her if she was feeling alright, why was she shaking? She said she wasn't shaking, and then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed. My dad dialed 911, and the ambulance came within 5 minutes. She was not breathing so the emts shocked her heart. My grandma had a massive heart attack. She coded 3 times at the hospital and with the amount of time it took to get her heart pumped again it was 15 minutes, 15 minutes her brain was deprived of oxygen. They say anything over 5 minutes starts irreversible brain damage. The cardiologist tried to remove the blockage, but it was so solidified that it was impossible and now besides significant brain damage, she has severe heart damage as well. 84 years old. How can her body function like this now? I wonder how her doctor did not notice my grandma had 100 percent blockage in a major artery and a significant blockage in one or two others? Now she lies in Cardiac Care ICU comatose hooked up to life support. Today she is supposed to have a scan to see if there is any brain activity but it does not look good, her eyes are not responsive to light, her body not to any stimuli. The docs say the prognosis is 90 percent not in her favour, but they are not Hashem so maybe they will be wrong. I keep thinking she is just going to wake up and go home again from the hospital. It's so hard being here in Toronto and unable to be with my dad and sister in Florida. I keep thinking, what was the last conversation I had with my grandma this past week??? I don't think I said I love you or discussed anything important, i think she handed the phone back to my dad before I had the chance to say those three words. :( my grandma had severe dementia and it was not easy conversing with her as her personality had become abrupt with the dementia. So now I wait. I wait for the phone call I expect to come at any moment. I cant' sleep, maybe I had 3 hours of it. My dad tells me the doc will need my dad and my aunts to make a decision by Tuesday about the life support. My grandma had a living will. (my parents and extended family are not frum). I feel sick. I wish I could be with my sister and dad at my grandma's bed side. I never got to say good bye. How could one know its the last conversation they will have with someone? even if by some miracle my grandma wakes up, she has significant brain and heart damage.
So daven for her, please, my grandma needs it now more than ever. Being my family is not frum I am not sure of her hebrew name or her mother's name, (my great grandma died before I was born) her english name is florence, so I guess daven for florence bas sarah imeinu.

Denial

2008-08-08T14:01:00.004-04:00

I am tired of ignorance. I am so tired of certain extended family members telling me #1 does not have Aspergers despite extensive testing by an educational psychologist, and the Autism team at his school. There is a well known pediatric psychiatrist (who also happens to be a rabbi)who goes to my shul who often chats with #1 in the coat room before mincha Friday night. He asked my father in law about #1 and I am not sure what he told him but it was not the truth, that #1 has Asperger's. I am really annoyed. I asked him why didn't you tell him?? and he says he DOESN"t have it, he doesn't have all the symptoms. Cousin so and so's grandson has asperger's and he is very withdrawn and does not even say hi. I told him, you don't need to have ALL the symptoms to have it. I am sick and tired of my mother in law's opinion that because her cousin's grand son has such a severe case then that's how all Aspergers kids are. I am tired of it. I am so fed up its taking all my will power not to call up and yell out of frustration at them. What will it take to get them to understand?? Apparently they know MUCH better than the educational psychologist who spent hours testing him. They know better than the Autism team involved with #1 at school, better than #1's teacher, and better than the principal. Just because they are involved in the special needs community because of my brother in law's rare Wolf-Hirschhorne syndrome, does not make them authorities on EVERY disability or special need. I am mad that my father in law did not tell the psychiatrist at shul about #1's asperger's but I suspect he probably knows #1's on the spectrum by his behaviour and was asking to be helpful. I am annoyed he asked my father in law and not my husband, but my husband was not in the room at the time. I told my hubby next time he sees this rabbi/psychiatrist tell him the truth about #1's Asperger's, or if he doesn't want to mention it first, then if asked, hubby will inform him. I am tired of well meaning people telling me #1 is fine when they do not live with him, are not involved with his education, and only see him on the odd occasion. People should keep their mouths shut about it if they don't understand what SPECTRUM means. My son does not need to have every freaking symptom in the book. He had ENOUGH symptoms that he was diagnosed with it and confirmed by the staff at his school. I am so frustrated with people's big mouths right now. Maybe this rabbi/psychiatrist can confirm to my father in law that he does have aspergers. Maybe that will be enough for my in laws to finally accept the truth after 5 years.

Update on my dad

2008-08-06T19:33:00.003-04:00

okay, it turns out my sister made a slight UNDER estimate about how much clonazapam my dad took. it was not 5 mg. it was 20 -1 mg pills, which is 20 mg!! apparently he started having respiratory distress, etc, and my grandmother's nurse put ice on his head and fed him spaghetti instead of doing what any other normal person would do in that situation, which is to get a freaking doctor!! she should have called 911. what the hell is spaghetti going to do for a person who just o.d. on clonazapam??? and wtf is up with the ice on the head?? I am pissed off that the nurse did not bring my father to the emergency room! I spoke to my dad this morning and he said my mom gave him money to get his new prescription filled, for Celexa, as he could no longer afford Paxil he is on the generic equivalent of celexa which is the same thing. So now my dad is back on the SSRI for his depression. so hopefully he will feel better soon. He told me he took out all the pics of my gang and put it on his desk to help him feel cheerful. he said it gives him a reason to live. I still am worried about my dad, because of those two vivid dreams I had two weeks ago, two nights in a row, in which I had received a call about my dad, etc etc. It was so real it was scary. I never told him about this dream, only my sister, as it was a very upsetting dream, and the last 2 times I had a dream like that a few years ago, I woke up to find out someone I knew had passed on (both had terminal cancer, one was lung and one was ovarian). Sometimes I feel like I have a 6th sense. but it freaks me out. two weeks after this dream my dad actually attempted by taking those stupid tranquilizers. I had chalked the weird dreams up to the cipro I was taking for a UTI, which can cause vivid dreams. it was so vivid that when I woke up, it took me a few minutes to realize my dad was alive and had not done away with himself G-d forbid. Even though I had my dad's assurances that he would NOT try to kill himself again, I am still worried. My dad told me he has no health coverage, as he can not find a job right now and can not afford to spend time in the hospital for his depression. he said if I call 911 on him how will he pay the bills? so I told him I don't care, don't give me a reason to figure out how to get an ambulance to where you live from Canada, or get my sis to call, I would rather have a dad then sit back and do nothing. just the fact he is talking that way has me really worried. I hope my dad will find a job soon. I will daven very hard for him. I would appreciate it if you would daven for my dad too, lazar dovid ha Levi ben Florence (I do not know my grandma's Hebrew name, and now she has dementia and I will not find out..so please keep my dad in your prayers. Thanks.

Help me win!! :) Pretty please!

2008-08-06T12:13:00.004-04:00

As you know, I am a very avid contest entering person. I am entering an air miles contest to win $5000. You can help me increase my chances by clicking on the link and registering for the contest too! For every person that clicks and enters the contest, I get 10 more entries!! Thanks for your help in advance!! :)

Anyway, in other news, yesterday I got to have a bit of a girls night out with 2 of my friends. We went to second cup and got to shmooze and have yummy treats at the same time :) On my way there, I had stopped at the library, the Doctor Who 3rd season DVD collection I had on hold finally came in. I also had the kite runner DVD and some books for the kids and one for myself. I did the self serve kiosk, and there was some bug in the software and even though it showed my items were checked out, it refused to unlock the kite runner DVD insisting it was one of the Doctor Who ones that were not unlocked, even though it was alreaady unlocked. I was in a big rush as I had to meet my friends, and I just asked a worker to unlock it for me. Then after, when I went to leave, the alarm went off! it said I did not have it out! I DID. I had dropped my receipt all the way back by the kiosk and not one person would pick it up for me even though they were standing on line right next to it! Then this rude nasty russian lady who worked there made me take out all my books, checked them all back in and then rechecked it out. I was so pissed. I told her a. it was not my fault her software was screwed up. B. she was embarrassing me when I did not take a book without checkign it out. c. she was rude about it and I wanted to see her supervisor, that I have been a patron for 5 years and this never happened before. she softened up after that, but I was pissed. when she asked why I was in such a rush I told her I had to be somewhere in 10 minutes. t hen she says its not her fault, and then I said,, no actually it IS. You watched me use the self serve kiosk and saw me having troubule with the DVD unlock feature and then u make me empty out my whole bag with a line of ppl watching, knowing all it was is a damn computer glitch!! I am still pissed about that.

anyway, in the end it all worked out okay. I got my doctor who dvds on loan and met my friends for coffee. Ok, got to change #5's diaper now...Click on that link for me!! :) Thanks :)

Ants in your pants...or elsewhere!

2008-07-31T11:22:00.002-04:00

Today I took #1 and #5 to the pediatrician...#1 because he had an itchy rash on his stomach, and #5 as she had pink eye. My father in law watched #3 and #4. I took #2 to camp on the way to the doctor. When we got back, I stood outside thanking my father in law as he got his bike to go home. Just then, I felt something on my neck. My father in law knows I am bug phobic to the extreme, so he told me he didn't want to scare me but a large ant just climbed down my neck to elsewhere. Just then, I felt some stinging sensation in my bra!! I quickly said goodbye and discovered a freaking HUGE ant!! I think I screamed so loud my father in law heard me all the from the road. LOL. That was really freaking gross. I HATE BUGS! This ant was abnormally large, like a queen ant. How the hell did it get on my neck anyway??? YUCK YUCK YUCK. Okay, that is my freak out announcement of the day. You may now resume other more normal activities. Laterz. :P

So Far Away...

2008-07-30T12:58:00.003-04:00

I am really worried about my dad. He's been having a hard time in the past year, he lost his job, and could not find one that paid equal salary, he divorced the horrible step-momster who also stuck him with a lot of bills and upgraded her cellphone before he got a chance to cancel the account. Yesterday, I phoned my dad to chat and his speech was all slurred. I spoke to my sis and she said he took 5 mg of Clonazapam (there were 5 1 mg pills left in his bottle), and his prescription for Paxil had run out a few days before and he had stopped it cold turkey and he couldn't afford the pills as he has no health care. He told my sister he wanted to take the rest of his blood pressure pills too, but thank G-d he didn't. It turns out Wal-Greens will renew his Paxil for only 10 dollars so he is going to get a refill today. My sis wanted to call 911 and get my dad help but my aunt (his sister) and my grandmother's caretaker (my grandmother is 83 and has dementia) didn't feel it was necessary. My sis and I felt it WAS necessary and can't believe how our family is not taking this seriously and instead of getting him the help he really needs, they are just yelling at him. I am stuck in Canada and can't do much for my dad here, but my sis is near my dad and she is keeping a close eye on him. I am worried my dad will try again. I told my dad if his speech is slurred next time or if there is any indication that he took too much clonazapam or any other medication, I will tell my sister and have her dial 911, or I will find a way to get him emergency help in his town,. I could look up the number on the internet in two seconds and have an EMT or police check on his welfare. I told my sis G-d forbid if there is a next time, she should ignore my aunt and just call 911. If he is a danger to himself, that is a DIRE MEDICAL EMERGENCY! I am really worried about my dad :( It sucks to be so far away and not to be able to help more. :(((((

sinus infection

2008-07-28T17:46:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in a few days. I am feeling run down and crummy, and on top of it all I had to call a plumber because a dvd remote got flushed down the toilet. This was on Sunday. Because it was Sunday, it cost me $186 plus tax! which comes to 212 dollars. I am quite upset as hubby just got a long awaited bonus and we were using it to buy back to school stuff and I was going to use it to buy the winter boots end of august. now I will have to use a nice chunk of it on this toilet garbage.. :( I have a sinus infection and am feeling incredibly cranky and irritable.

In other news, yesterday, I borrowed the key to the shed from a neighbor on the landscaping committee, with whom #1 shared a bus with her daughter in school last year. Her daughter has some issues (she has anger management issues), and her and #1 didn't get along so well, though #1 was not aware of that fact unfortunately. He came with me to get the key, (I thought they got along for the most part or else I would have left him behind with hubby) and the girl was so rude to my son. All he did was say hi, and she slammed the door on him and screamed at him to get away. He felt so bad after. I told him he was a good boy and unfortunately sometimes people just don't click and its nothing he did. (he really did nothing..the only thing that happened is that on the bus #1 talks kind of loudly and non stop, and she was very rude in dealing with it. She is almost 11 and he is only 7 1/2. She could have been a lot nicer to him about it. It doesn't make a difference anymore I guess because she is going to a different school in September. I worry about #1's self esteem. My best friend in Pennsylvania has a son with mild autism and when we visited last December, #1 and her son got along great. I wish they lived here and then #1 could have such a great friend. I would also have my best friend here. She and I have been friends since I was 8 years old. Here in toronto I find a lot of people in the frum community are snobby, cliquey, and narrow-minded, so different from the friendly community I became frum with in New Jersey 10 years ago. I just want #1 to feel he belongs and feel good about himself.

Hole in the Wall!

2008-07-24T12:24:00.003-04:00

A few months ago,the kids accidentally put a doorknob size hole in the wall of #1/#3's room as the door stop was missing when we moved in, we hadn't bothered putting in a door stop, and opening the door fast caused the knob to bang into the wall. last night, #1 put his glasses in his kippa and left it on my nightstand when he went to take a shower. #4 also put her glasses in his kippah too as she was getting ready for bed. I was distracted and thought I put them away on a high shelf after. This morning, I went to look for it and could not find it at all. That's when #3 informed it was *gone*. I asked him, what do you mean GONE?? Gone where???? #3 says I put it in the doorknob hole in the wall! AAAAAAH. How am I supposed to get them back???????? It just so happens my in laws came home from Israel early this morning. I felt so bad asking them to help on their first day back but my father in law owns a saw and I needed to saw the wall open to get it back. My father in law came around 10:30 am and went to work. Not only did we find the kippa (which is now ruined from the plaster) we found both pair of glasses (which fortunately were NOT ruined and were okay) 2 mini toy cars, a few pairs of #1' s socks, and #2's plastic ring she got from her morah). My father in law will be back to plaster it up after we get a door stop for #1/#3's room which should be tonight. I will have to go back to wal-mart. Most people complain about not having anything interesting happening to them. Boy, I wish I could complain about that!!! I don't thinK I have had a dull moment really in years.

#1's 15 seconds of fame

2008-07-23T13:36:00.004-04:00

Here is the clip of #1's 15 seconds of fame. #1 and #3 are towards the end of the clip, a little after showing the workmen working on the sewer system. I can hear #2 yelling, and me yelling " Guys, get out of the water now" LOL. Many people have stopped me today to say they saw #1 on TV and heard me yelling. so embarrassed LOL. I can also hear #3 yelling while frolicking in the water, and you can get a brief glimse of #4. I had given #4 and #5 ice pops on the way to get #2 and #4 has blue ice pop all by her mouth LOL.

Michael Savage: You can kiss my tuchus

2008-07-23T07:15:00.003-04:00

Let me give you a bit of background in case you have not read or heard: This radio talk show host says kids with autism are really just brats. Well, let me tell you something Mr. SAVAGE: my son is a loving affectionate boy. He IS NOT A BRAT. Do you think if my son had a choice on how to react to things he would choose to freak out over loud noises, changes in routine? Do you think he WANTS to have social problems and not understand certain social boundaries???? My son tries so hard to fit in with other kids yet still has trouble, and feels bad when other kids don't want to play with him?? Do you honestly think he chooses this for his life, as you put it, because autism is not a real disease, just being a brat???? The only real brat here is you, shooting off your big fat mouth. Maybe try doing a little reasearch on autism, or spending some time with a child on the autism spectrum before announcing on your radio show that autistic kids are just brats.

Mortified and Soaking Wet on CityTv News

2008-07-22T16:07:00.004-04:00

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!! Thanks to #1 we are probably going to end up on CityTV news tonight. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You see, we had heavy rains today. My street was not flooded. But the street #2's camp is on had a severe flood, high enough it was up to #3's chest. #1 went up to the newscaster and asked if he could be on TV. she was interviewing someone else, to my relief, though my yells of GET OUT OF THE WATER NOWWWWWWW sort of broke through the interview (G-d I really hope there is a way to edit out my yelling) so I thought I would just get #2 and go home. #2's camp lady saw me and said it was too deep and she would bring #2 to me instead of me wading through the mess. So that is when #1 and #3 decided to go swimming!!! They would not get out of the water. So the newscaster told #1 if he got out of the water she would put him on TV. so he comes out, gives his name and age and then proceeded to go even deeper in the water with #3. I jokingly told the newscaster I was going to cry. she thought I was serious and I had to tell her I was joking. The whole thing was a freaking disaster!! I tried to go in to get them but did not want to leave the stroller unattended. The camp lady tried to help me too from her end of the mini-pool. #3 did the back crawl. My purse, shoes, socks and cell phone are now soaking wet. #3 was wet from neck down, #1 from waist down, #2 just her shoes. Thank G-d a zaidy saw me having a terrible time and told #3 in a stern voice GET OUT and go back to your mom NOW. G-d I really hope CityTV news does not put this on the air. I want to dig a hole right now and crawl into it LOL. I need Harry Potter's invisible cape. I am humiliated on CityTV news. OMG.

car decals

2008-07-18T13:28:00.002-04:00

ok, I would really LOVE to thank the classy guy who stuck a car decal in plain view on his car of a cartoon character with his tushy bared, peeing into a bucket. Your wife/girlfriend/significant other must be so proud to ride around in your car with you and that vulgarity stuck to the side of the car. Thank you! (I am being very sarcastic here) Every day I pass this damn car, and I didn't even realize this decal was there until yesterday when #1 started laughing hysterically on the way to get #2 from camp. I couldn't figure out what was so funny until #1 said mom come look at this! Yikes!! He asked me why it was on the car and I told him the person who owns the car must find it funny , but really its not a polite sticker and not to look at it anymore. Its vulgar! sheesh. I do not want my kids looking at that and am very offended someone would stick such a graphic decal on their car. what the hell is wrong with some people?? Honestly..

Anyway, in other news, I won a 100 dollar gift card today from Scotts paper towels instant win contest, and 5 free song down loads from Logictech from puretracks. I should be receiving the gift card in a few weeks. yay! :)

Not much else doing..just so tired and want to take a nap, but I can't right now. I hope hubby will look after the kids this shabbos so I can rest and have a bit of a break. I feel so tired. I think my sleep apnea is getting worse and I am going to have to stop procrastinating and finally go for a sleep study. Hubby was complaining about my snoring. ZZZZZZZZ :P

Is it hot in here?

2008-07-17T21:46:00.002-04:00

Heat wave! we are having one. with the humidex it was 94 out today. It is supposed to cool off after Sunday.

So anyways, I have not posted in a few days as I was really not feeling well. but I am feeling better today. I had some weird virus and was running a fever off and on. It's been a long week and I am looking forward to a relaxing shabbos IY"H. I got another call from my brother in law's camp today. It turns out his feet got a bad infection almost down to the bone and he has to go for an x-ray. It's from his leg braces. He is on a strong antibiotic (Augmentin) and had to have debridement and a follow up visit. I called my in laws right away even though at the time it was 1 am in Israel. Good thing I did as it turns out my brother in law is allergic to penicillins, which is in augmentin, so he will probably have to swtich. My father in law called the camp. He is a pharmacist so he would know best what is a good substitute drug for him.

My boys have been a real handful this week as I think they are starting to be a bit bored. I am really looking forward to the first day of school :P

Not much else doing, I just came back from a big food shopping (I shop for 2 weeks at a time as I don't have a car and hate having to ask every week for a lift home from the market. It was extremely busy at sobeys.

Before I log off I have a bit of a ramble. I was thinking back to my university days (10 years ago! Yikes) If the old me could see the now me I would kick myself in the ass LOL. I think that will be my goal, to try to remember how to be more chill like I was in university (though I was always a TYPE A, I was never such a worrywart back then like I am now. and also to remember how thin I was and to really try to remember that next time I am stressed out and want to binge on chocolate cookies. . My friend is writing a blog on weight loss, and its kind of giving me an incentive to also lose weight. I know I will never be a size 6 again, but I would take a 12. Anything but the 16 I am now :(((((((((((((. I was so thin in university. I am going to be 31 and I know it gets harder to lose weight as you get older, so I think its something I will be focusing on once 4 out of the 5 will be in school in september. I think I will be a lot more relaxed also as I will have just one at home while the rest will be in school. It will be weird at first, and then I am sure I will love it :)

Fed up!

2008-07-14T09:54:00.003-04:00

I am so fed up these past few days. First of all, I get a call from my brother in law's camp in NY (he is very disabled, wolf-hirschhorn disease). I am the emergency contact as my in laws are in Israel. He has a cyst on one foot and some sore on the other from his leg braces. It's not an emergency they say, but what do I want the camp to do? I told them let me call my in laws in israel. They have rented a cell there with a calling plan. They did not answer. I try to reach them sunday, no answer. so I call the camp Sunday morning and tell them just leave the braces off his legs until I can get ahold of my in laws. I try today several times..no answer. ARG!!!! My brother in law should not have to wait till the end of the month! It's not fair to him, but I am worried my in laws will be mad if I tell the camp go ahead and have the cyst removed, etc. It's not my child to make the decision for. I hope they check in with us soon.

Then, when I went to pick up my in law's mail Sunday at 9:30 am from the bitch neighbor, she yelled at me. She said "you've got to be kidding me, 9:30 am?? I was sound asleep. I told her I thought that was a reasonable time! all my friends and neighbors were up. I assumed you were too. She said, my friends are up too. that doesn't mean I am. I was so pissed. I am not getting the mail anymore. My mother in law can pick up the damn mail herself when she comes back from Israel. I will still pop over once this week and once next week to empty the humidifier and that's it. Second of all, I went to deposit my father in law's paychecks for him which was really out of my way and then had to go back to their house to drop off the bank card (I didn't want to carry their card around with the pin # written down in my bag) Then by the time I get home, I discover while hubby was watching the kids somehow #3 ate about 12 flintstone vitamins with iron!! ARG! I am not sure if hubby left the vitamins out after giving one to #2 or if #3 just climbed up on his own. So much for the childproof cap on it. I called poison control who told me he did not eat enough to harm himself, B"H, but not to give him any for 1 week and to give him lots of fluids as the iron will constipate him. I told hubby that's it. either we put up the magnetic locks on the cupboards or I am going to go buy a lockbox from staples or wal-mart.

Third of all I am pretty sure #5 has an ear infection, and that the cipro I am taking is not really working very well. I do not want to take all 4 of the kids (one of the five is in camp so I only have 4 home during the day) to the pediatrician's office. I tried to call the doc who makes house-calls but apparently he is on vacation :( So I had to call medvisit aka dr. quack because there is no way I am taking both #3 and #1 with me to the pediatrician's office, they get too rambunctious there. The doc is supposed to come tonight. as for me, with the bladder infection, I will have to go to a walk in clinic some time in the next week or so to get a requisition for a urine culture to make sure the infection is truly gone.

Israel!

2008-07-10T18:09:00.003-04:00

My in laws are in Israel! :) My father in law called me 3 p.m. EDT (10 p.m. Israel time). He left msg., so I wanted to call him back but it wasn't working right. So I called hubby who gave me the international calling code thingy I was missing (011). and it worked! :)
They must be very jet lagged, so when #2 came home from camp I figured my in laws must be already asleep and didn't think it was a great idea to phone there again. tomorrow I will call them, but I have to find out what time candle-lighting is in Jerusalem so I don't accidentally phone when its shabbos there.

I am feeling a bit better today, hopefully the cipro is working. My family doc is making aliyah after next week and will only be back 2 weeks out of the month thereafter. but will be in touch with his office daily and has a part time doc covering for him. So I want to get a requisition before he leaves to make sure my bladder infection is truly gone. I am worried I may have to find a new family doc and there is a severe shortage here. my doc is only flying back and forth for a year to see how it goes before making a permanent decision on whether he is continuing his practice here. I hope he does continue or else my new family doc will be the walk in clinic, which is a very very bad idea. why can't ontario just be a normal province and have normal health care!

Anyway, not much else is doing..still waiting impatiently for my winners gift card I won in that contest. I am supposed to get it by next week. So hopefully soon :)

anyway, my gefilte fish is ready to come out of the pot now..

not feeling well

2008-07-09T23:37:00.002-04:00

I went to the walk in clinic tonight after hubby came home. I do indeed have a UTI...a bad one :( I am on cipro 500 mg 2x a day for 7 days and am supposed to see my family doc for follow up. I am a bit worried because I am having slight chills..I hope its not spreading to my kidney, G-d forbid. The walk in doc made me a bit nervous about it because of my grade 2 cystocele and the fact that I was already on macrobid 1x a day (bedtime) to prevent infections and I still got this.) and I had let it go 2 weeks..he told me if I start to run a fever go right to the E.R. I just took my temp before and it was normal, B"H. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in tomorrow. I only took 1 dose so far.

How Many Days Until School Starts???

2008-07-09T15:41:00.002-04:00

I can not believe it, but I am actually looking forward to the start of school again. #1 is bored and driving me bananas. He keeps bugging his siblings, taking off #5's hat repeatedly when we are walking to pick up #2 from camp. He keeps asking to use the washroom at the camp lady's house, and after the washroom, he does not leave to go out but tries to "go exploring", to use his words. LOL. Today he keeps emptying out the tzedakah can, and stacking the money in piles according to the change, and then putting them all back into the pushke. So I guess that's okay as long as its keeping him busy and he is putting it all back into the can.

Not much else doing..I am feeling cranky from a bladder infection and have to go to the walk in clinic tonight as its too difficult to take the 4 of them with me to my family doc. That should be fun. (am being sarcastic). I hate walk in clinics with a passion but I have no choice if I don't want to end up with a kidney infection. G-d forbid.

I'm feeling irritated a certain extended family member who is going on a two week vacation to Israel. last year I brought in their mail no problem. This year she is making it so damn complicated. She says the mail comes in the morning, so she asked her neighbor to get it and I have to make arrangements with the neighbor to get the mail and pay her bills and deposit paycheck of other extended family member. I really don't mind at all doing this, except the going to the neighbor part. I don't get it. why can't I just get the mail from the box myself if I have to go over there anyway??? I did this last year and it was fine. She says, the mail comes in the morning..so I told her, yes..I always picked it up that same evening and it was gone by the next morning from the box so the mail man has an empty box again for you. She didn't seem too enthralled with that. So whatever. why does everything always have to be so damn complicated? She says well not to worry if her neighbor is not home or whatever.. I feel, I have enough to do with the 5 kids, I don't like her neighbor too much as when I severed part of the tendon in my finger last year, I had panicked and knocked on her door for help. she said what do u want me to do about it? Anyway, I had ended up going to the urgent care clinic and gotten it taken care of by a special splint I had to wear, which was not so comfortable, but anyways..UGH. I am so damn cranky today.

Okay, I have to go start making lasagna now. Will post more laterz.

Head, shoulders, hand foot and mouth

2008-07-06T19:59:00.002-04:00

Its contagious!! #3 and #1 have the coxsackie virus, aka hand foot and mouth disease. #3 just has some sores on his tongue and a few on the roof on the mouth. #1 has it worse, with blisters on the roof of his mouth, throat, and on his feet. he keeps trying to pop the ones on his feet, and I keep trying to distract him from doing it. #2 is worried she will catch it, and most likely she will. I think #5 has it, I thought I saw some of the blisters on the roof of her mouth. The doc who made the housecall this morning said its very contagious. He said not much you can do for it, just tylenol for the fever. Apparently, spaghetti and meatballs was not a good food for supper to eat with the sores in the mouth Despite that, #1 was feeling okay enough to see Wall-E today with #2, hubby and me. MIL watched the rest of our gang while we were at the theatre. It was a great kids movie, highly recommend.

On Friday night, we went to sheva brachos at my mother in law's. I stupidly listed my blog address on my facebook account, and someone there on my facebook friend list told me I should try to make my blog more interesting. I say, BITE ME :P heheehe but that's not actually what I said. I told the person I vent my feelings on it and I don't care if people find it interesting or not. its my diary. Just like I am in real life, I don't care too much what people think of me or my writing. I am who I am, either like me or don't like me. I am not a phony, and I hate people who are. I have not had the easiest life, and after caring too much in high school what was thought about me, and having low self esteem, I decided what's most important is what you think of yourself, not the opinion of people who barely know you. I am not much of a social person. I feel very uncomfortable and self conscious in social situations with people I don't know well. and I was thrust into a sheva brachos with about 30 people. My true friends are in New Jersey. My friends who really get me and understand me and my quirky sense of humor. I find toronto can be a snooty and unfriendly place. I miss my friends...wah :( Don't mind my rant. I am PMSing :P hehehe

Anyway, tonight I plan on watching the season finale of Doctor Who. and am going to get the kids ready for bed now as its after 8 pm and I really want to watch it.

Laterz.

Camp!

2008-07-03T10:51:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's that time of year again. #2 is going to a backyard camp and so far is having a good time. Everything would be perfect if #1 would stop trying to barge into the house of the lady who is running the camp. yesterday when we picked up #2, #3 needed to use the washroom, so #1 decided it would be a great idea to squeeze past me to run up the stairs of the house. I was mortified when he decided to then run down into the lady's basement! ARG! I explained to her privately about Asperger's and so she was very understanding of 1's behaviour. Today we prevented him from running in by opening the door enough for #2 to go in alone, without him. I just hope we have the same easy time when picking up #2 this afternoon.

Yesterday afternoon, I hooked up this kid sprinkler in the backyard. BAD IDEA. :P not only did it flood my grassless backyard into a mud pit, and caused a mini pool behind the air conditioner, where the tap is, #2 freaked out when getting sprayed by the sprinkler. #1, #3 and #4 loved it. #5 was not too thrilled. In addition #1 managed to soak part of my couch and living room, and then proceeded to soak me as I was trying to shut off the tap. I have moved the sprinkler into my garage and deem it a "toy for bubbe's backyard only". She doesn't know it yet but I have a nice little toy for her to store in her backyard :P I am sure she will be so thrilled LOL :) actually, I am sure she will not mind it at all.

Anyway, that's it for now, tomorrow we are going to sheva brachos at my mother in law's house. (tomorrow night) that means I don't have to cook for Friday night dinner! We invited an acquaintance and his wife who have 3 boys of their own, and my mother in law's friend has her 2 grandsons. that means there will be 10 kids, 7 of them being boys ages 8 and under, in addition to about 20 adults. :P Let the good times roll! :P

Canada Day means 1 more day to CAMP!

2008-06-30T21:57:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is Canada Day, and you know what that means.! one more day till the start of camp! YAY! :P #2 is starting day camp wednesday IY"H. She is very excited about it. The weather is supposed to be nice too. I just hope #3 behaves himself on the long walk there. I am bringing the triple jogging stroller so hopefully he will want to ride in it. I think it shall probably take me a good 20 minutes or so to walk there.

Anyways, last night I watched Sweeney Todd for the first time. Great movie, but it certainly turned my stomach LOL. It was weird seing Borat aka Sascha Baron Cohen as a different character.

Friday night we are going to sheva brachos! Yay! I am looking forward to it. I don't have to cook much for shabbos. :)

I am wiped out as I did not get a good sleep last night so I am going to try to go to sleep now. key word is try. I seem to have a hard time falling asleep lately.

It's Summer Time!

2008-06-29T19:05:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have been a lazy girl and have not updated my blog since end of May. Sorry! :) I was just pretty busy with life and I was having fun with facebook.

So, what's happened in the past month or so: #2 graduated pre-school and will be starting grade 1 IY"H in September. Good thing I got to that graduation an hour early! most of the first 3 rows were already reserved!!! Sheesh. we bought a video copy of it as well.

#1 had an okay finish to his school year, but I can't say I was thrilled. For the last week of school, his pm aide who works in the kindergarte in the am. was needed for pm too. They didn't have anyone to work with #1, so he had to go with her to kindergarten!! I was annoyed, but it was the last week of school so I didn't really do much about it. i was assured he was given grade 2 work to do, and also jobs to help out the younger kids, and that it was helping his self esteem. I walked him to school the last few weeks of school, but I don't think I will do that in September. It was hard getting five kids ready to leave at 8 am, and #3 was very tired and uncooperative at times which made walking not one of the most fun things I've had to do in the morning. Next school year I will try bussing in the morning and see how it goes. If #1 starts having trouble again, I will have to go back to walking him. In the afternoon starting with September, #4 will be starting nursery school IY"H. its going to be crazy busy for me. I have to pick up #1, then go to #2/#3/#4's school and get them and then go home. #2 will get out 3:45, and #3 and #4 get out 3 pm, but they have after school day care, so I am sending #3 and #4 to that so I can get all 3 at the same time. But Fridays will be really crazy. #3 and #4 get out 12 pm, #2 gets out around 2 ish or 3 ish depending on candlelighting times, and #1 gets out 3:20. :) Good fun for me LOL.

This summer we are not doing much. #2 is going to a backyard camp, and the other 4 are home with me. I bought some sort of sprinkler thing for kids to play in hot weather. it hooks up to the tap in the backyard and sprays water out of the hose in many directions.

and off on a different tangent..I watched Doctor who last night. (SPOILER ALERT) I am wondering which character is going to be killed off. I have a feeling it will be Rose. Its so tragic. first she gets separated from the doctor by being trapped in a different universe in last season's episode. now she sees the doctor again, and then as they are running to each other, he got shot in the shoulder by a dalek. he regenerates of course, but one of the other aliens had mentioned to Donna that she is sorry for her future loss. I don't think David Tennant is leaving the show just yet, so I am thinking Rose. I have a lot of episodes to catch up on, as I only just started watching this season.

Anyway, I will post more later, IY"H. Don't worry, I won't let another month pass by between posts :P

My little parrot

2008-05-26T18:34:00.006-04:00

#1 is so funny. He has taken to memorizing commercials. Over shabbos dinner, he asked me if I was having break outs. I am all confused, and am like, huh?? he says if you are, just use noxema. LOL. Today he came home with an invitation his friend gave him, dated march 30. it was for another boy's party that was over 2 months ago. I didnt' look at the date and rsvpd. the mother seemed confused. the mother then told me she wasn't having a party. then I realized it said MARCH 30th. and besides may 30th is a friday. whoops. I need some sleep, me thinks LOL.

well, it's expected I am so tired, after coming home from the e.r. last night at 11:30 pm. #1 and #3 were roughhousing on the bed at bedtime right as hubby was getting the books to tutor #1 in yiddishkeit and #2 went into their room to see and #3 accidently banged into #2's forehead with the back of his head, which then formed a little gash on her, right above her eyebrow. Being I don't have a car, I phoned my mother in law to ask for a lift to the e.r. . she told me she isn't' staying with me at the hospital only dropping me off, despite the fact that my brother in law is being watched by someone and my father in law would be home any minute from shul and take over from the sitter. I have no family here, and my husband needed to stay with the kids. I had asked my mother in law what about if my father in law watches the kids while she can give me and hubby a lift to the hospital with #2 and then she can go home to the sitter. she didn't want to. I am a very nervous type of person and am a bit phobic of ontario hospitals after hearing so many terrible things about its health care and having several negative personal experiences myself. I asked my neighbor to come with me, as we are friends, and she said okay. then my mother in law asks why I need her to come with me. Because I do not like being alone at the hospital and do not want an anxiety attack either. So my neighbor met me at the hospital and stayed with me the whole time and gave us a lift home. #2 needed glue and a steri strip as they were out of the liquid freezy stuff called lat(sp?) used to numb the area before stitches. B"H She is ok and today was very excited to tell every single person we saw at school today about her adventures. The doctor at the e.r. was very nice and looked a lot like david tennant from doctor who. not only that, instead of calling himself dr. so and so, he called himself the doctor, just like doctor who, and he did it several times. My neighbor and I were a bit in shock about how my mother in law never bothered to come back to the hospital. at least she did call though. Anyway I got a lift from my neighbor home so it doesn't make much of a difference. I want to get her something nice to show my appreciation for staying with me and #2 until 11:30 pm...

time to go..hubby is home now.

My moment in DitzyLand

2008-05-23T09:37:00.005-04:00

I sign up for focus groups. I love going to these to share my opinion on a variety of topics, plus I get paid 50 dollars and sometimes more for my time! Yesterday I got a call from one of the marketing agencies that run these, and the guy says to me, the people coming are a very interesting bunch, the topic is spirits. So, I tell him no..I can't go to a focus group about that! It's inappropriate. and he asks me why, so I tell him I am an orthodox Jew, and I don't feel comfortable discussing ghosts. So he starts laughing. Apparently, spirits means alcohol! DOH! I am such a ditz LOL. So obviously I don't drink, so I was screened out of the focus group about that topic. hehehe :P

So anyway I have not posted in a week. Sorry about that. I just was feeling lazy :P. Not much else interesting happened. #2 went on a class trip to a farm yesterday, #1 went on a class trip today to an outdoor adventure place. I have a meeting next Friday to finally meet the Autism Team in person. #1's teacher is not so crazy about the team, he says they never return calls, etc. and that their ideas are always just ideas, nothing concrete he can put to use, nothing exact. I am not sure what I will get out of this meeting, but hopefully I will get #1's name on the waiting list for a psychoeducational assessment, as the last one, he was only 4 and not all the tests could be completed at that time. He seems to be having a great week this week, B"H. I am glad. Maybe the break from bussing was just what was needed.

#2 is turning 6 this Thursday, (my how time flies!) She is graduating Senior Kindergarten June 17th! She will be getting her very first siddur with her name in Hebrew engraved inside. Next year she will be in grade 1 and get to wear the "big girls" uniform. #4 had her interview with the pre-school director this past week and will be starting nursery IY"H in September. She is potty trained, but we are still working on the poo part. She holds it in because she is afraid of pooing in the toilet, alternatively, she gets a pull up and poops in it and then wipes her own tushy...sigh. I think some bribes are in order to get the poop in the right place. :) As for #3, we are not sure if he should repeat junior kindergarten or go into S.K. He knows his aleph bais, but he is one of the youngest in the class, and still quite playful. S.K. is a lot of work and they need to learn how to read Hebrew and get homework. the director said she will discuss with his teachers and let me know where he will be for September by the end of June. #1 will be in grade 3 in september, IY"H.

Anyway, this Sunday, I am planning on going to a street sale. I plan on being an early bird, IY"H. I asked hubby to feed the kids breakfast for me so I can see if I can snag some good deals. I want to get another little tykes cozy coupe car, and some other toys for the kids. I find a lot of the good stuff gets bought up early by people who do this thing all the time, the professional garage sale shoppers LOL. I am still a novice, plus I have no vehicle so it makes it doubly hard to get things home. Anyways..

Have a good Shabbos! :)

me feels sick

2008-05-15T20:27:00.002-04:00

I am not feeling well. So achy it feels like my bones are sore. It started off with a sore throat, which is gone now. I think #5 may have an ear infection. She has no fever but was cranky today and barely ate her supper. She does have a cold. I'll see how she is in the morning.

I think next week I will go back to having #1 bussed in the morning. I don't think me walking him or having my mother in law drive him made much of a difference, except on the first day. Every other day this week, his communication journal read he was loud and disruptive in the morning..today it said he refused to do work this morning. If he is going to behave that way regardless of taking the bus or walking, much easier to have him bussed. But the question is, WHY? Why is #1 behaving like this in the morning at school??? I am having a meeting on the 30th with the principal, #1's teacher, and the autism team. I want some answers. I want some solutions. I want #1 in a different school if need be. He never had these problems at the other school he was at last year. I'll see what the autism team recommends. it's no surprise that the co-ordinator did not return my call from last Friday requesting he come back to observe #1 and find a better school placement.

Anyway, I feel crappy so I want to go lie down and rest.

Walk This Way...

2008-05-14T16:51:00.002-04:00

So, this week we I am walking #1 to school in the morning instead of him taking the bus, and the teacher noticed a huge improvement in his behaviour. So even though its a huge pain to walk 5 kids to his school every morning, it's worth it because it means he will have a better day. I am supposed to have a meeting with the autism team on the 30th. FINALLY. B"H.

In other news, my friend does not have breast cancer, B"H. It turned out it was just a cyst. Whew.

Not much else doing right now..just trying to keep up with laundry and cleaning. Got to run, time to get dinner together for #2.

It's the the little things that matter

2008-05-12T11:12:00.003-04:00

Mother's day was not a happy day for me. I have been under a lot of stress with #1's troubles at school, and I found out my best friend since I was 8 years old, found a lump the size of a quarter in her breast and has to go for mammogram and to the surgeon for a consult. Her mom had breast cancer (thank G-d, she is fine now.) I am so stressed out. Hubby didn't do anything for mother's day, his family is not into cards, etc and his dad always says every day is mother's day. The family was getting ready to go to the bubbe's house so I could go to the mall with hubby alone, and #1 was in the front yard waiting for us. He came in with a bouquet of dandelions and said happy mother's day mom. It really touched my heart. it was so thoughtful of him. we put them in a cup of water. It really made my day, such a simple gesture really got me out of the dumps. My other kids also wished me mother's day of course, which was special too.

Zaidy took #1 to school today. I am not sure how it went. I got the impression my father in law didn't want to tell me #1 was upset this morning, his voice sounded funny when I asked. He means well, but lectures a lot and doesn't believe #1 has asperger's so I was slightly worried as #1 changed his mind and wanted me to walk him at the last moment. (zaidy was already there) So far, no phone calls from the school so maybe I am just being paranoid as usual. I am supposed to call the principal this afternoon to discuss #1's troubles at school on the bus.
'
Anyway, I am going to go enter some online contests now..

Wish I were on vacation

2008-05-09T16:31:00.002-04:00

Okay, mid-morning today I get ANOTHER phone call. #1 is having a bad morning. Yelling, etc. He was put outside the classroom with the aide for time out. I spoke to the principal AGAIN. I told her I do not think this is working well, that while I thought his teacher was great, he doesn't seem to know what to do with #1. I also told her our situation with the psychoeduational assessment thing. I made some calls this morning. One dr. wanted 2700 and would not give me any receipts even for the 500 dollar deposit until all the payments have cleared!! then the other wanted 2200 minimum. My insurance only covers 1500. I do not have an extra 500+ to spend. We are on a tight enough budget as it is without this added expense. So the principal said she would show the school psychologist #1's previous assessment and then try to get his name on a waiting list for a psychoeducational assessment through the school. He will be on a wait list, but she said its not like its urgent where he needs this ASAP, as he already has had one in the past. It's just that not all the tests could be done back then because he was too young at the time. A very aggravating morning.

Then this afternoon I got a positive phone call, finally, from the teacher saying #1 had a great afternoon, and did some great stuff playing word scramble, and talked calmly, etc.

next week we are having a little experiment, where #1 will walk to school with me and the rest of my gang, instead of taking the morning bus, as he is having many issues with kids on the bus, and he is coming to school all riled up and agitated, when he has left home quite calmly. So we'll see if me walking him will be better.

Anyway, that's it for now. Good shabbos.

School Daze..

2008-05-09T06:49:00.004-04:00

So, an update. I spoke with #1's principal yesterday morning. She said its the school's job to meet #1's needs so he will be able to learn there, and that there was no reason to change schools. I am going to be meeting with her, #1's teacher, and the autism team so we can discuss what our plans are for #1 so he will have a better rest of this school year and a good start to next year's school year. I am going to get him another psychoeducational assessment, but unfortunately, the psychologist who tested him 3 years ago when #1 was at a private Jewish school can't test him now, as he works for the school district for our region, and its in his work agreement not to take kids who attend school in the district as clients. So he is referring me to his co-worker who works for another school district. But I don't have her # and will have to wait for her to call. (he said he would pass on my number to her) Otherwise if I don't hear back from her by Monday or Tuesday, I will make an appointment with the psychologist who works for the school #1 used to go to that was for special needs a few years ago. (we had pulled him out of that school because its for kids who are severely disabled, such as cerebral palsy, downs, severe autism, etc) and #1 was not really learning anything there as he is very high functioning, B"H)

Anyway, that's the update so far. I feel a lot better after speaking with the principal. now I just have to wait for the psychologist who works with #1's original psychologist to call. I hate waiting for calls :P

time to get dressed now...

IRPC?? Screw the IRPC!!

2008-05-07T18:25:00.002-04:00

I am extremely upset as I type this. I am sorry I signed the IRPC decision (Internal review and placement committee)for #1's school placement for september. I DO NOT want him back there!!! This school is NOT meeting his needs at all. I spent 35 minutes today talking to #1's teacher. (he called me.) #1 is having trouble on the bus with screaming and refusing to wear his seat belt. He is coming to school agitated from the bus ride, and his teacher thinks maybe I should go back to walking him to school. Then there is the fact that there is a severe personality conflict between #1 and his morning aide. He overhead me talking to his teacher about getting him someone new for a morning aide, and went up to her this morning and told her she was fired. Then there was the fact the other aide in the class has been someone new every 3 days. (there are 2 aides in his class, one for him 1 for the general class) there is the fact that #1 is acting out in class with yelling about other people's noises, and being bossy, he tried to bite his aide when she tried to remove him from the class for being disruptive. My son is not generally like this! he is not like this to this extent at home, he is head strong, but not the way he is in school! Last year, he did NONE of this behaviour, at the other school. I am so sorry I let the school district move him back to his home school. He did fabulous at the previous school last year. This has been a horrible year for him at his current school. His teacher agrees, pretty much saying he is having great difficulty teaching #1, and why did I take him out of the other school (it was NOT my choosing), but he says, you signed the IRPC and its going to be difficult now to change his placement for september. He felt he was not the right teacher for #1, it's obvious #1 is not getting his needs met there. It just so happens #1's karate teacher has a wife who is special ed teacher in the district, and has kids like #1 in her class (high functioning asperger's, ADHD, learning disabled). I spoke to her via him on Sunday. Today I called and told him, I know this is not proper procedure, but I explained #1's troubles and asked if his wife would be willing to take #1 on as a student, or give me advice on how to get him out of this school into another in the district with a better suited program for him. He is going to speak to her and call me tonight with some advice. I also made an appointment with the psychologist who tested #1 3 years ago to have another psycho-educational assessment done. #1's teacher told me he knows how I only want the best for #1, and that he recommends I phone the principal to discuss this situation. I left voicemail but will try again tomorrow morning. I am very upset and stressed out over this. I wish I knew this info before the IRPC meeting. I would not have let them put him in this same situation for next year. I want him back at either the previous school or the one the karate teacher's wife teaches at. This is going to be a very difficult next few weeks until I figure out the best place for school for him, and a long fight in making the school district change the IRPC placement.

ZZZZZZZZZ

2008-05-05T17:03:00.003-04:00

Ok, today I woke up at 5 am and could not fall back asleep! AGAIN! if it's not #3 waking me up in the middle of the night, then its me waking myself up! Maybe my problem is I turn on the computer and that makes me feel more awake, instead of reading, which makes me feel sleepy.

So today I walked down to the main office of #2 and #3 and soon to be #4's school to turn in my subsidy form for tuition for next year. I hope they give us a break like they did this year. Next year #2 will be in grade 1 and the tuition is 10.900 but no one pays that amount, the UJA gives most families a break according to salary and how many kids you have. I am worried because hubby had a slight pay raise but the cost of living has gone up in Canada too, so it really doesn't count. I will be worried about it until I get a letter stating how much subsidy we are getting.

In other news, #1 gave me quite a scare. There have been some break ins in my area unfortunately. I went downstairs to do laundry and noticed my basement window open! I freaked out but didn't' see anything stolen. I called hubby and he said maybe one of the kids did it. But I am thinking, how?? It's high up! It turned out #1 did it by standing on my trunk from university. I told him to never do that again. not only could he have fallen off and hurt himself, anyone could have climbed into our basement through the window!

and one unrelated rant...I am so annoyed at the director of my housing community! She is very fickle about putting in work orders. My air conditioning is broken! it was put in last year, after a year of arguing that something was wrong with my old unit, it blew hot air! So now the new one we have is doing the same damn thing! the maintenance person looked at it and said it needed repair but the director doesn't want to pay for 2 service calls. so now I am gong to have to beg the guy who is coming to do regular maintenance on it to put it in his work report that my unit is not acting normally. Last year this same thing happened and the guy was in such a rush to get his job done to go home (I was one of the last houses of the day) he did not put anything down. I was very pissed. It took until July to be fixed. If its not fixed by end of may I will have to write a letter to the board so they can vote and get my unit fixed. I wish hubby and I could buy our own house..maybe one day I will win the lotto. LOL.

#5 turns two!!!

2008-05-04T14:56:00.002-04:00

Happy second birthday #5!! :) my baby is two today...no longer my lil baby now but my lil toddler...*sniff*. We gave her a cute lil baby Tad from leap frog that plays songs and helps with color and shape recognition.

Next birthday is #2 who will be turning 6 May 29th.

Anyway., I am so tired, had another night of broken sleep. I think I am more tired now than when I had a newborn to take care of!

I will post more tomorrow IY"H.

I Left My Head in San Francisco

2008-05-01T12:55:00.003-04:00

If anyone finds it, please mail it back to me :P. I am so ditzy today. I don't know what is with me LOL. I go to pick up my dry cleaning, and I am in a rush to be back before 10 am as the xbox hubby won is finally going to be couriered over today. I WOULD have been back by that time if I had not dropped my dry cleaning in a pile on the ground, and before that, going back to make sure I signed my check I wrote to them. Someone had picked up my dropped dry cleaning and put it in a Sobeys shopping cart at the other end of the plaza! Meanwhile I am frantic, thinking someone has stolen my daughter's Ralph Lauren down winter jacket (that I got as a real bargain on Ebay BNWT a few years ago and has been passed down from #2). Just then, a sobey's cashier was on her way to the cleaners so I managed to get it back, B"H. But unfortunately, I missed Purolator!! ARG. Now I will have to go the trouble of having to have it redelivered tomorrow. Why the heck am I so forgetful today! I am only 30! It's too early for this absentmindedness LOL.

In other news, we are definitely NOT going to the in laws for Shavuos. I really feel we need a break from the in laws, since having to spend an entire week of Pesach eating almost every meal with them, I think we are getting on each other's nerves. Hubby says I am just being overly sensitive, but I tried to explain to him that a daughter in law's relationship with her mother in law is very complicated. For example, if one's own mother were to say something in a snarky tone of voice, or just be really irritable with you one day, it would be different, but if one's mother in law gets irritable or whatever, it seems its more personal and annoying. I definitely did not enjoy Pesach at all, especially the last 2 days, despite the stomach flu hitting every person in my family. Like I said in an earlier post TOO MUCH is not GOOD!!!

BTW has anyone here watched Dr. Who? Hubby has gotten me hooked on that show. Don't you think the new doctor who, David Tennant, is a cutie? :P

Ok, stuff to do, and I am still so exhausted.

and BTW my title of my blog today is a take off of a tony bennett song I left my heart in san francisco, in case none of you have figured out my weird sense of humor :P

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great fall!

2008-04-28T22:05:00.003-04:00

No, it was not reallly dearest humpty. It was me! me me me. Thank you #3. see, I was waiting nicely for #1's bus and #3 thought it would be fun to run to behind the house towards the backyard. I caught him and then he clung to my legs for a hug. I lost my balance, and toppled over, smashing my knee on the hard cement. While I was losing my balance #3 was still clinging to me. My left knee is painful and red and puffy on part of it with a scrape. My right knee hurts but not as bad. My elbow hurts from me smashing it on the ground too. I couldn't even walk after it happened. I had to kind of hold onto my knees in a weird crouch walk, moaning and groaning in agony. Thank G-d none of my neighbors saw me or I would have been extremely embarrassed :P. #3 felt bad, as he didn't mean to knock me over. but I gave him a long talking to about running. One day when he is married, i will look back at all his antics and laugh. At least that is what I keep telling myself :P

Anyway, I am still exhausted, I did not get a chance for a nap at all today and I have had very little sleep. So I am going to catch some zzzs. BTW I am in the midst of toilet training #4. So far, she has peed in the potty most of the time today with only 2 pee pee accidents, but she did poo on the floor :( UGH. Thank G-d for disinfectant wipes. I think poo is going to take longer to train her for. She is actually stubburn about poo in potty. I will have to buy her some stickers or something to bribe her to go poo in potty.

ok..good night!

How I spent my Pesach Vacation

2008-04-28T06:43:00.003-04:00

I spent my Pesach vacation cleaning up puke from all 5 of my kids and then got sick myself. Then my mother in law caught the stomach flu from the kids and me. Then, the husband of my mother in law's friend visiting from Scranton, PA caught it, then one of their kids. Then my father in law caught it and was pretty sick over the last day of Pesach. B"H so far hubby has not caught it, nor the mommy from scranton either. The Scranton guests are heading back today to PA and it would really suck if she had the stomach flu over a 10 hour drive with 3 kids.

As for me, I am so exhausted. I can not believe I woke up at 6 am to go to the bakery to buy bread. And the funny thing was, I ran into my mother in law there. Also there was another guy customer there too. So it seems I am not the only one with the brilliant idea of beat the masses by being an early bird! :P though it was empty when I was there, minus my mother in law and that other customer, so being an early bird rocks! :P In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am crowd-phobic. I can not stand on a long line up, especially one that tends to be disorganized, like it is in the bakery I frequent. I get very anxious. So I am early bird so I don't have to deal with it :) I also hate crowded malls and such. I try to avoid it by not going on a Sunday or during the holiday season rush. What can I say, I have my quirks :P

And as for the rest of my Pesach, I spent reading Rebecca Eckler's new book Toddler's Gone WIld. I highly recommend it! It is pretty funny and moms of toddlers can really relate to it :) Now I am reading a book by Harlan Coben called Hold Tight and I also recommend that one too. I am halfway through it already. and I am not just reading it because he is a fellow New Jerseyan :P (GO NJ!!) :P

You can take the girl out of New Jersey, but you can't take the New Jersey out of the girl :P

Ok, I am so overtired, and had bout 4 hours of sleep, and now I have to get ready in a few minutes to wake up #1 to get ready for school. Me so tired..waaah:(

I will post more when I am not so exhausted. But aren't I so entertaining when I am this tired?? :P

sick

2008-04-24T18:33:00.003-04:00

The stomach flu got me too. Eating chocolate macaroons this morning was a BAD bad idea. I am having a crappy day and now am going to a vort later tonight. UGH :(

As far as the trundle bed delivery, I am upset with sleep country canada. I have never had any problem with them with past orders, but this time the spring top was COVERED with layers of dust! The guys wiped it off but there was a small dirt stain on each mattress!! They also accidentally scratched the paint on the day bed frame. I covered it up with white out. It seemed to have done the trick. I called up to complain but all they said was, thanks for letting us know. we'll add this to your file. I can't be bothered with returning it as it's too much hassle, but it would have been nice if they offered a partial refund or something! I spent 1500 dollars on the day bed and trundle bed and two mattresses!! I don't know if I would buy from them again or not. but really, where else is there to go to that's reliable? Hubby and I will need a new bed in a few years.

Anyway, I feel like I may have to go puke soon. UGH :( this has been not fun.

Stomach Flu is here!

2008-04-24T05:29:00.003-04:00

#2 and #1 have been throwing up since yesterday afternoon, #2 much worse off than #1. She is drinking fluids though, which is good. She threw up about 5 times :( #1 threw up 3. My poor lil guys :( I have a bad feeling I may have caught it as my stomach is hurting a bit, which is how it started off with the virus for my kids. Ugh.

The trundle bed is due to arrive today. Unfortunately I had to cancel the listing on ebay of the crib as it accidentally broke when it was being disassembled last night. I had someone who was all ready to bid on it and was disappointed when I cancelled it. I feel so bad. :( what can I do though? I can't sell a crib with a broken railing. I am trying to sell the mattress and bedding in a new listing. At least they can't break :P

Anyway, I am going back to bed now. It is 5:30 am! I was up checking on #2 and decided to go online for a bit.

It''s Almost Over...

2008-04-23T11:45:00.004-04:00

Whew..what Pesach I am having. First #4 throws up on my father in law's black hat he left on a chair, erev Pesach. Then #5 throws up all over the stairs at our house. Then this morning she threw up what looked like digested matzah and strawberries, part of her dinner from last night. #1 is exhausted from the late nights and is not adjusting well to the different schedule of Pesach. #2 and #3 keep bugging me every second about food. what is it about pesach that leaves the kids feeling MORE hungry instead of FULL???? If I hear, I am hungry, one more time, I shall scream. :P I think the matzah is not good for the kids digestion either. I know its making my GERD flare up big time.

Tomorrow the trundle bed for #2 and #5 is coming! :)I listed the change table and crib on ebay. I have one bidder on the change table on ebay, and 4 people watching the crib/mattress/sheets I listed, but no bidders on that yet. I hope someone buys it as I have no room to store it anywhere for long!

As for me, I finally got to purchase some clothes for myself yesterday, after not having bought clothes that were NOT maternity for myself since I came to canada, except for a few outfits here or there. I was a size 6 or an 8 depending on the cut of the cloth, and now I am not, unfortunately :( I can't bear to donate my skinny clothes, even though I know that if I lose the weight, I will probably still not be able to wear a size 6 again. I hear your body changes shape after having kids. I really need to be serious about losing weight. I am so sick of being chubby, and my baby is going to be 2 soon. I have no excuse now to not lose weight. I will have to start focusing more on my portion size and not eating when I am not feeling hungry..i.e. stress, boredom, PMS :P. I bought some nice skirts and tops from Lands End and also Sears.

The other thing I have been thinking about lately is when am I going to go back to school and get my nursing degree. I really wanted to apply and start next September, but I think I will have to postpone it a few more years as it involves a lot of studying and I have to put my kids first. If it takes me another ten years to go, I will wait that long. I will probably be in my 40's by the time I graduate..I wonder if that would make it hard for me to find a job as a nurse. I wish I had figured out my calling back when I was 17. I wasted so much time and money as an English major, which is what everyone wanted me to be. I volunteered in the hospital for years, wanting to be a nurse as a teen ager, and I should have done what I wanted. I really hope to apply in the next few years, IY"H.

Anyway, I am going to go vacuum up the matzah crumbs now.

It's almost Pesach!!

2008-04-18T10:37:00.003-04:00

I just have last finishing touches on my kitchen and I am done. Sooooo tired though :( and sick still. :( with that damn post nasal drippy crap. but no time for doctor. I had to take #3 back to the doc as he had a fever last night. its just a virus B"H. My brother in law is sick and my in laws did not bother getting him seen by a doctor. I am highly concerned as I DO NOT want my kids to get sick!!! My father in law just told me to tell my kids to not get too close to their uncle. Great. Like that is really going to work. Sigh.

Then, #3 gets me in trouble with one of my neighbors. He tramped all over the soil that was newly seeded with plants. I told the lady I was sorry. she told me her son planted it. (he is a gardener.) He is going to be so pissed at me. But I had no way of knowing #3 was going to do that. :( #3 is just a kid, after all! Hopefully the plants will be okay. :( #3 is such a trouble maker!! One day I will look back and laugh at this, when I am a granny IY"H. Until then.... GAAAAAAAAAH! :P He could be married in roughly 18 years :PP joking!

Anyway, I am so tired from unbroken sleep again, and I just got a long distance phone call. Happy Pesach!

Allergic to Pesach Cleaning??

2008-04-16T06:58:00.003-04:00

I must be allergic to Pesach cleaning! :P I do have allergies, last night my throat started itching. I kept sneezing and having a runny nose. This morning I wake up and my eyes are so swollen! and NO, I DO NOT think its from garamycin! :P Its not my eye lids, but the skin under my eyes, which happens with my allergies. When I was allergic to the Vigamox eye drops, my eye LIDS swelled up, not the skin underneath my eyes. I look horrible right now. Good thing I wear glasses so its not obvious. Now I am going to have to scrounge around in the basement where I am storing my chometz and find my darn Benadryl.

In addition I had another night of broken sleep!! #3 and #1 come in to my room in the middle of the night arguing! Because #3 has a cold and is coughing, etc and #1 is very noise sensitive. Nothing like playing referee at 3 am. then #3 insisted he was thirsty and I had to go down and get a cup of water! then I had to try to fall back asleep. it took me an hour! then I had to wake up at 6:45. I am so freaking exhausted!

51 percent clean!

2008-04-15T19:19:00.003-04:00

Yesssssss!! According to #1, our house is 51 percent clean for Pesach!! (I am not really sure how he arrived at this calculation, but I thought it was cute). We finished the basement, and all the upstairs rooms. Today I did the kitchen cabinets and moved the chometz to the basement, where I am keeping the chometz I am selling off via the rabbi. While I was washing down the cabinets, #3 quietly scribbled chalk all over the carpet, and #4 scribbled marker on my couch! (good thing that couch is sort of on the way out anyway...I am looking on craigslist for a free couch). When I heard quiet, I should have checked right away. Quiet means they are getting into mischief!

Anyway, I am so exhausted, and we still have a lot more to do in the kitchen, so I will post more later, IY"H.

Runaway

2008-04-14T18:07:00.003-04:00

Okay..I wake up this morning with pink eye, on top of having a cold. #3 was complaining of feeling sick and #4 was cranky beyond belief. So my neighbor gives me her unopened bottle of garamycin eye drops that she had but never used ( I know I know, its bad taking someone else's prescription but its EYE DROPS! ..my father in law is a pharmacist and would have given me hell for that, but its EYE DROPS. eye drops i have used before and never had a problem with.) I take #3 and #4, and #5 by default, to the pediatrician. #3 is okay, B"H. #4 has an ear infection in her right ear. All three of them have colds. #2 has a cold as well but was well enough to go to school today B"H. I told #3 if he behaved at the pharmacy I would buy him a treat at the bakery afterward. he was relatively behaved there. So at the bakery, which is a 2 minute walk from our house, I get him a treat, and as we leave the bakery, he takes off full speed ahead toward our house. But I could not catch up to him as I am walking with #4 and pushing a jogging stroller. Another frum older lady saw my plight and pushed my stroller while I carried #4 in my arms. Every time we caught up to #3 he smirked and ran even further! The lady asked me why he was running away from me, and I told her, he just likes to, but he has never done it to me before! not like this. He did run out of school that one time en-route to the gym class several months ago, during school hours, and the school tightened up their supervision on him. My next door neighbor told me I should get the child safety harness out of the cupboard and put it on him when we walk outside. I hate using it because it looks like a leash. but its better than G-d forbid getting run over. When we picked up #2 from school I told him if he did not behave he will have to put it on to keep him safe. Suffice it to say, he did not misbehave once and walked safely. If I use the harness I get snarky remarks about having my child on a kid leash, and if I don't use it, then I get snarky comments about him needing one. the episode with him today running towards the house is reason enough to use the safety harness. His safety is most important, and cars can't see little kids well. Another child on my street got hit by a car backing out last year, but was okay, thank G-d. Anyway, I was really shook up.

Hopefully the rest of the week will improve.

Pesachitis

2008-04-13T08:19:00.003-04:00

WIth Pesach a little less than a week away, I still have a whole lot of cleaning to do. and to top it off, I am sick again :( I am waiting for my doc's office to open up to see if they can fit me in today. He has hours on Sundays and since hubby is home I will not have to shlep the kids with me. I think I have another sinus infection. All my kids have colds, and I think #4 may have an ear infection. A neighbor of mine gave me a lift the other day, with my kids, and her kids were sick, which I did not know until a few days later.

As far as cleaning goes, I still have to clean #1/#3's room, my room, the kitchen, and the basement. My goal is to be finished by Wednesday night, IY"H.

And as far as Pesachitis..people need to get a grip! and CALM DOWN!!! Pesach does not give people a license to to grab, yell at strangers, hover, and barge in on line. Last week in Sobey's I accidently bumped into a lady's ankle with my jogging stroller. I have big blind spot with that stroller, I can't see the front wheel at all when I am behind it, pushing it. I told her I was so sorry, etc. and she yelled at me! saying can't I see where I am going? why did I have to do that. I told her IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! I didn't see, and why would I hurt her on purpose?? Couldn't she see I had my hands full pushing a stroller, carrying a grocery basket and holding #4's hand at the same time. Sheesh! I had apologized right away and asked if she was okay and this is how she responds. I feel sorry for that lady's daughter in law. Then, my neighbor was in a clothing store and was about to start self check out when some pushy lady barged ahead and started her own order. Today I was in the bakery and saw people buying dozens and dozens of rolls..hoarding, basically. It irritated me. then again, I am feeling under the weather, so I am irritable to begin with today. Then as I was paying this pushy lady was hovering on top of me while I was entering my pin # in the interac pad to pay for my order. I shielded it from her, but sheesh! She was so engrossed with ordering cheese buns she invaded my personal space. I HATE this time of year. Pesach is not an excuse for RUDE and PUSHY behaviour!! It's a Chilul Hashem. Pesach is only 8 days!!! its not a month, its not a year. Why do people make such a big stink about not being able to eat chometz for such a short time!

Okay, that's my rant of the day. I am going to try to phone my doc's office to see if its open. I feel like crap.

Tired

2008-04-09T08:00:00.002-04:00

I am so tired. I have not had one night of unbroken sleep in a week. Either #3 or #1 wakes me up or I manage to wake up on my own every two hours. I feel like I did when my kids were infants. That tired. I think maybe its just a good case of Pesach anxiety. From having to clean every inch of my house from top to bottom, from having to face my in law's guests after I was pissed at them last year because the parents went up to bed for an afternoon nap and left me watching their 3 in addition to my five without even asking me. and I would have said NO. I was watching 8 kids from ages 1 years to 10. I was NOT happy. My kids and their kids don't get along so well. The husband likes quiet, and my kids are FAR from quiet. There's the fact that I am going to have to eat every meal with my in laws for 8 days, even though we have an okay relationship. Too much of something is bad :P. I have a good case of Pesachitis. Maybe one day I will be rich and can go on a Pesach cruise with hubby and kids. That's my dream right now. LOL. Ok, I am super super cranky and tired and need to get the kids ready for school now.

Pesach Countdown

2008-04-07T11:01:00.003-04:00

Just like in my university days, I am procrastinating. I am the Queen of Procrastination! Didn't you know? :P I have yet to start any Pesach cleaning. I guess I work better under pressure, what can I say? Hubby has been doing his part, cleaning behind the couch, etc. I have been just trying to keep up with the routine stuff of laundry, etc. I know me LOL. 3 days before Pesach I will get myself into gear and clean non stop. I will probably be feeling beyond stressed out, but that's how I work. I used to do that with term papers, etc in my university days. I remember waking up 4 am and typing out a paper that was due at 9 am. and I got an A. Yahoo. Will I get an A for Pesach cleaning? I better or I be in big trouble :)

Speaking of Pesach, I fought the masses at the supermarket and got some groceries. I managed to get the last 6 cases of breaded veggie cutlets, and the remaining 4 boxes of animal crackers. My kids will be pleased. But I am a bit worried about what to serve for snack after next Thursday. I can't have them tracking chometz all over the house 2 days before Pesach. I guess we will be eating a lot of fruit for snack time :) I have to stock up on lots of cold cuts for lunch for chol hamoed. Dinner time we will be eating at the bubbie and zaidy's.

BTW the case of the missing glasses of #4 is solved! We found the glasses behind the couch in the corner. #4 kept saying something was down there during shabbos. I pulled the couch out, and voila! Glasses are back. Yay.

Now I just have to wait for #1's glasses to come in. He broke his pair at school last week, out of frustration.

Ok, time to do some laundry. Ugh.

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

2008-04-03T12:24:00.003-04:00

I am so exhausted today. #3 kept me up half the night. He is such a poor sleeper, which in turn makes me a poor sleeper. When he gets a poor sleep, it can go one of two ways, either is he super cranky and has a melt down over every little thing, or he is super hyper. Today was the latter. While I was waiting for #1's bus, #3 wanted to join us outside to "have fun", aka run around wildly and make Mommy a nervous wreck" LOL. Hubby usually gets him to wait inside with him while he makes his lunch for work with the bribe of a pickle slice, but we are fresh out of pickles since yesterday, damn! #3, #2 ,and #1 decided they wanted to play hide and seek, which was a bad idea because if #1 is hiding when the bus comes, then the bus driver will become annoyed at the delay.

Speaking of annoyed, I am becoming annoyed with #1's teacher and aide at school. I think I liked the teacher better last year, I am happy she had a baby, but I wish she would have come back to that school. I for sure would have made a bigger argument for keeping him there. Today #1 accidentally broke his glasses at school. The shadow asked for his back up pair, but unfortunately, I do not have a back up pair, #3 broke them last April. I told her I would take them to the optician's tonight (she is our neighbor, and is a mobile optician) They probably won't be ready until end of next week as its already Thursday. So the aide gets snippy with me and says how is he supposed to do school work?? So I tell her, even if I run out right now and buy a whole new pair of glasses, it would STILL take a week to ten days. It's faster just to have them repaired, the lenses and temple are okay. We just need to order a new face for it. I told her he is far sighted too, and in the past when his glasses have broken he has never had a problem functioning in school until the new ones are ready. Sigh. Sorry, I am just cranky from sleep deprivation :)

Anyway, #4 probably needs a new pair of glasses too as the baby, aka #5 who is entering the terrible twos, took her glasses and hid them and I can't find them! Hubby and I looked everywhere for them and can not find them. Hopefully they will turn up soon, unless #5 put them in the blue box, which means they are now on their way to the recycling plant. Crap. Hope my tax refund turns up soon LOL. I hope #4 finally poops in the potty soon too. LOL. I think during Pesach, when we will be in the house alot I will put her right into underwear and put her on the potty often, and hopefully that will do the trick. I hate toilet training. :)

Right now I am listening to Weird Al on iTunes, so its sort of distracting me from my blogging :) I am disappointed hubby and I won't be able to see him in concert this summer. Weird Al is playing at CasinoRama, in Rama, Ontario. I think its during the three weeks preceding Tisha B'av, and even if it weren't, we have no car to go there.

Anyway, I will post more later when I am less tired and cranky.

Let's Clean Up for Pesach...

2008-04-01T16:08:00.002-04:00

That is the song #3 is singing incessantly. "let's clean up for Pesach, it is coming soon. let's clean up for Pesach, we'll do it room by room. The song keeps running through my head. (it's sung to the tune of I've been working on the railroad). #3 and #2 went to the matzah factory at the Lubavitch shul this week and got to help make matzah and take a sample home. They were arguing about splitting the matzah with each other, as #3 went yesterday and #2 went today. I told them in a few weeks you will not be arguing over matzah, we'll be eating so much of it LOL.

#1 is having trouble with school again, he seems very wired and not wanting to do work. I told teacher this is what happened after December break, and now he was out for march break, Good Friday/Purim and the two days you told me to keep him home because of the school play at the city play house. He needs to settle back into a routine, give him some time! I think he did better with the teacher at the school he was at last year, but she is on maternity leave. I think once he gets back into a routine of doing school work he will settle down. There is a meeting with the autism team on the 9th, but its for staff only, no parents so unfortunately I will not be privy to what is being said there.

In other news, I have discovered, scramble on facebook. I LOVE IT. It is a very addicting game where you try to find words amidst a bunch of letters mixed together. At first I sucked at it, but I think I am improving. :) its a great time waster LOL. I was playing it before the kids were up this morning and the next thing I know its 7:15 am. LOL.

Anyway, I am off to make lasagna for supper. At least for Pesach I will get a break from cooking. YAY. but it will be a huge pain shlepping to the in laws for meals during chol hamoed. but on the other hand, NO COOKING. YAY. :) We don't have keilim for Pesach. I really better stop procrastinating cleaning for Pesach. The kids are making a mess everywhere with animal crackers, pretzels and bread. Sigh.

Life is Swiffy!!

2008-03-27T14:01:00.005-04:00

with Swiffer! :) because I won! I won a swiffer prize pack from Zellers. I just have to mail back the signed affadavit and I get my prize in 4-6 weeks. it includes a swiffer wet jet, swiffer carpet flick, carpet flick refill, swiffer duster, Mr Clean magic eraser extra power (G-d knows in this house we need that LOL), ivory snow detergent, febreze fabric refresher, tide 2 go 3 pack, febreze air effects. YAY. Too bad it does not include someone to do the cleaning for me too LOL. This stuff will be put to good use. Finally a good thing happened, B"H. Yay. :)

Ok, I am off to go enter some more contests now. laterz!*

My Meloncholy Experience (with Melonhead)

2008-03-26T21:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, Melonhead is a trendy kids hair salon I take my kids to. I LOVE it there, even though I HATE trendy things. The people who work there are nice, down to earth and are GREAT with my daughters. (my sons go to the barber for their hair cut, because they know how to cut the hair and where they are not supposed to cut, (i.e. the payos) I LOVE the little air planes and such the kids can sit in when they get their hair cut, and the cartoons on the TV and toys to distract them. They go the extra mile and put the glitter spray in my kids hair and a free hair clip. I generally dislike the other moms who are there though :P They are the anti-me., and I must admit I can be a bit anti-social sometimes I guess LOL. Tonight I almost walked out of Melonhead though.. I couldn't stomach any more trendy named screaming kids with the moms with the 100 dollar jeans and the fake phony voice and smile. And every time I got up this obnoxious pushy mom kept taking my seat, and washing her son's hand with antibacterial stuff. It really irked me. I am exhausted, I have been up sine 6 am after a broken sleep night because #3 and #1 came in to my room twice. I did many errands this morning and it wiped me out. I just could not handle the trendy obnoxious supermoms tonight. This one mom there was saying she spoils her son rotten. It was quite obvious she did. she kept shouting his name out, it was one of those annoying non-name names that really is a last name but it was his first. UGH. I think even if I had money and was rich I would never be like that, ever. I think next time I will try to schedule my appointment at a less busy time. oy. LOL.

I am so tired. I need to go try to get some sleep. I did some more pesach shopping tonight. I can't believe I spent 200 dollars on crap. (i.e. 108 cheese slices, cream cheese, machine made shmurah matzah, macarrons, kasher l'pesach cakes, potato chips. you know, the really; heatlthy snacks LOL. When it gets closer to pesach I will buy the fruits and veggies, and of course turkey cold cuts for #1 and hubby to eat for lunch chol hamoed. We are eating at the bubbe and zaidy's house for our meals for yom tov and dinners for chol hamoed.
Ok..good night!

My little musicians...

2008-03-25T22:55:00.002-04:00

Today #2 and #3 had a music concert at their school. #3's class went first. It was so cute! especially when they partnered up and danced with each other to the music, and then later galloped around the room in time to the music. :) I stupidly left my digital camera at home, but #3's friend's bubbe and uncle was there and took a pic of him to email me, which I greatly appreciated. It wasn't until I came home that I realized my cell phone has a 2 megapixel camera included with it. DOH!!! #2's music class was also cute. #2 sang so loud though LOL. Another parent told me my daughter was the star of the show. :) I had a nice time, except right before #2's class went on, #1's aide called me to pick him up, except she couldn't tell me outright to do so. See, his class is in a play, and unfortunately #1 was not really able to handle memorizing lines etc. there was no aide for him in the afternoon, so she was sort of hinting at me picking him up. It was too long of a day for him to be without an aide. The same will be for tomorrow too. I had to pick up #1 after #2's class concert.

One thing I noticed in comparison with #2 and #3's class. #3's class, the parents are friendly. #2's class, the parents are snobby, cliquish. I felt like I was back in high school. I was talking with 2 other moms about it and they also noticed it. It doesn't bother them, but strangely enough, it bugs me! I don't know why i care, but I do. LOL. Just like high school LOL. I swear, if I hear one more mom tell another mom YOU LOOK AMAZING! Your baby is JUST ADORABLE! Your sheitel is gorgeous! you look stunning, just stunning. I am going to projectile vomit! I mean it!!! UGH!!!! I think that the books I read, like the nanny diaries, about upper east side manhattan, I feel like that society has been transplanted right here in GTA. I think Toronto is a much snobbier unfriendly place than NJ. I mean, I like toronto, I do. I just find its harder to make friends here unless you are rich and can buy the right clothes and have the right sheitel. I have friends who grew up here and think it was snobby here. so its not just me being supersensitive.

Ok, I am going to beddy bye now. Good night. :)

Conversations overheard on the bus...

2008-03-23T17:12:00.004-04:00

Two weeks ago, I was on the TTC while hubby was home with the kids, when I overheard a conversation between a mom and her pre-teen daughter. The daughter had made a comment to her mom that she had a learning disability, and the mom replied, no you don't... you're not stupid. As a mom to a son with a learning disability, ADHD, and Asperger's syndrome, I was really miffed by her comment. My son is a bright, beautiful boy, KA"H, who just learns in a different way than ordinary people, he is NOT stupid. I shot her a dirty look, she looking puzzled as to why, not realizing I took offense at her loud proclamation. I kept my mouth shut and said nothing to her, but what I really wanted to do was correct her ignorant statement. It frustrates me when people think like that. Maybe she is the stupid one because she can not realize a learning disabled child just learns things in a nonconventional way. Anyway, word of advice: Think before speaking, especially when on a crowded bus and you are talking quite loudly. ok...that's my vent of the day.

In other news...I am going to give toilet training another try this week with #4. she is over her bout of stomach flu, and I think she is really ready this time. I also think #5 is ready too. she keeps taking her diaper off when she pees, every time. she is not yet two, but I think I am going to give it a try anyway.

This week I am also starting my Pesach cleaning and shopping. Joy of joys LOL.

Ok, Purim is practically over, time for Pesach cleaning.

2008-03-21T18:30:00.002-04:00

I am so tired. Beyond tired. I woke up very early this morning and was not able to fall back asleep. We ate at home and then went to the in-laws for their seudah as they were not really having much of a seudah, just salads, lox and tuna, and they were starting late, around 1 pm, So I fed the kids beforehand. Then, on our way out, my mother in law asked me to drop off a shaloch manos at #2's classmate's house, two doors over from her. I took her there, while hubby was getting the rest of the kids ready to go home. #1 decided to come with us, and when the other mom opened the door, #1 ducked under her arm and ran into her basement! I was beyond embarrassed. #1 refused to come up because, "it's amazing down here, there are lots of toys". ARG! They were in the middle of their meal, and I was mortified, not sure if I should run into the basement to get him or let the mom who's house it was do it. #3 made an appearance at this point. Finally #1 comes out with a toy from the basement he said was given to him. I apologized profusely and she was okay with it, her brother has full blown autism and she understands. But still! I am so embarrassed! I had explained to #1 when we knock on people's doors, its not okay to just run into people's houses to "explore" as he puts it. he did that when we went to a doc's house right before our trip to NJ when #1 was sick with a bad ear infection. he ran into the doc's living room and turned on his wide screen tv. He has to understand what's appropriate behaviour. because of the asperger's this does not come naturally, but he can learn.

Anyway, I am so tired, I already finished cooking for shabbos. Candle lighting is at 7:13 pm. so i am signing off for now. Good shabbos!

Happy Purim!!!

2008-03-19T18:38:00.003-04:00

Click here to hear a song to get you into the Purim spirit!!

Today I went to the pre-school Pre-Purim carnival for #2 and #3. It was great. There was the right combination of sugar, bouncy castle and games to keep the teachers entertained for the rest of the afternoon LOL. #2 and #3 had cotton candy or aka the Canadian way, candy floss. The line up was crazy! My kids wasted a lot of time just standing around in line for some, but they didn't seem to mind. They also had their faces painted, and had fun on the bouncy castle. then they had some fun playing basket ball with the kid size version of hoops by little tikes. this is #2's last year for the pre-school carnival. Next year she will be in grade 1.

Long distance phone call now. bye for now!

Oifen Pripitchik

2008-03-14T14:57:00.001-04:00

My mother in law sent me this in an email, and I think its a beautiful song. I felt like sharing :)

Camp! :)

2008-03-13T18:34:00.002-04:00

Yay. I found a camp for #2 to go to! Her friends from school are going, and the price is VERY reasonable, 7 weeks for 525, from 9:30- She will be so excited when i tell her. :) Now I just have to find a camp for #3 to go to.

I am in a much better mood today and I am feeling a lot better. the antibiotics are taking away that terrible metallic taste in my mouth and I am no longer achy and feeling crummy. But I am still a bit sore about having to abandon my broken double stroller.

So anyway, this sunday #2 is going to a pre-Purim Party, and will be dressing in her costume (its a snow white costume :)
This upcoming Wednesday is the Purim party at #2 and #3's school My mother in law will be watching #4 and #5 so I can take #2 and #3 around the diferent booths at the carnival. There will also be cotton candy, (or what canadians weirdly call candy floss LOL) and cookies and juice. #3's costume is a clown costume, with a cute little jester hat. :) I hope to take lots of pics :)

For the Purim seudah we are going to my in law's. :) I am looking forward to it. purim is always one of my favourite hoidays, though bad for my diet LOL. All that yummy nosh.

Ok, got to do some shabbos preparation now.

Welcome to Hell

2008-03-13T11:57:00.003-04:00

OMG. Can my day possibly be any worse? Probably. Things could always be worse. Let me start at the beginning. I take my double stroller with #4 and #5 and #1 walking next to me. we attempt to walk to wal-mart. the sidewalks were not plowed well, making walking very difficult. Halfway to wal-mart, I hear a snapping noise. It was my wheel. How am i supposed to walk to wal-mart now?? How are we even supposed to get home????? I phone my mother in law, but she had things to do, and I could tell she was not happy at having to pick us up, as she is getting her 3 bathrooms re-done, and needed to settle things at the firm that is redoing them. So I abandoned my stroller and walked with #4 and #1 next to me, and #5 in my arms. A kind stranger saw us struggling to walk in the snow and helped me cross a major intersection and get right to wal-mart with my gang. I phoned a friend who came and got us. I am so upset. Now I have no double stroller. I have only 1 single jogging stroller which sort of needs some minor repair. (a washer fell out. Hubby needs to put it back on the stroller.) I have a triple jogging stroller someone gave me but it does not fit through any door ways.

Another thing I am really annoyed at is hubby did some computer work for someone. he made it clear his fee was 30 dollars an hour before he started. He was there 2 and a half hours, after working a full day at work. I was not happy as it was 11 pm when he came home from helping them. They did not pay him, or say when they would pay him at all. Hubby tried to phone them last night, they did not return his call. They are very well off financially and I can not understand their failure to pay 75 dollars., We could really use that money right now. I say, if they don't pay up by Sunday hubby should call the rabbi and have him speak to them. My hubby says I am assuming the worst of people. ok, maybe he is right, but they didn't even bring up when they would pay him or anything. I am putting my foot down if they ask hubby to help them again. Before we were married he used to do work for free for them, but now, he is older, and has a lot of experience with computers. IF they didn't want to pay him, they should have called some teen ager to go do their slave work for free.

Sick Again...

2008-03-12T19:36:00.003-04:00

Ok, I probably should have gone to the doc two weeks ago when I was sick. I had suddently felt better, and then on Monday I started having aches, hot flashes, and feeling crummy, with a slight sore throat. Then i noticed ear pain and a bad taste in my mouth. Today I finally had enough and phoned the doc who makes housecalls. He said there was a lot of green mucus running down the back of my throat and did a strep test, to which I will not get results until Friday. He put me on 10 days of amoxil 500 mg 3x a day. But I am thinking could it be strep? I don't think so, my throat is not sore all day. its ok, then it hurts, then its ok. It feels like post nasal drip, not a streppy pain. but the bad taste in my mouth is really annoying. I am so exhausted, but I can't rest, I have no time, my kids need me. I wonder if its sinus would amoxil work? Maybe I need zithromax. If I don't feel better by Friday I will call the doc again and tell him I do not feel any better. IY"H I will. this has been the worst winter. I feel so run down and am constantly getting sick. It's very annoying. I am going to log off now, this metallic taste in my mouth is disgusting me.

BTW I am miffed at one of the sellers I bought from on ebay. I bought this red cute hat for #1, which looked just like a summer hat. The seller made no mention of the fact that it was WOOL and RAYON, and DRY CLEAN ONLY! Thanks a lot seller for being up front and honest. What a waste. What the hell am I supposed to do with a wool hat??

BTW I am also annoyed at this one mom at my kids school. Today #4 was crying because, as we were leaving, she dropped her hat into the snow and it got wet. I tried comforting her, but she was still upset, so I was not paying too much attention to her crying because really, what can I do? I don't have another hat on me and and I was in a rush to go home. So this other mom goes, excuse me, she's crying. so I said, yeah, I can see that, I am not blind. Why DO people feel the need to point out the obvious?????? I mean really, what the hell did the other mother want me to do about the wet hat?? Like her son is so perfect. Last summer her little angel threw a ball into #2's mouth and split her lip open when they were at the camp bus stop, and didn't even apologize to me and #2. So maybe before she opens her big trap she should take a look at herself. #4 was just upset at her hat which was SLIGHTlY damp. So the other mom can go take a flying leap. I hate moms who think they are so perfect and go around making rude comments.

Ok, I am done venting now. I feel like crap, I am extremely cranky, I have a crap taste in my mouth and since hubby's home I can finally lie down and relax.

Planning Ahead??

2008-03-09T20:50:00.002-04:00

Ok, call me a worry wart, call me obsessive, LOL. #1's bar mitzvah is, IY"H, in five years. I was just thinking about the future costs involved with the party part of it, invitations, meals, friday night meals for out of town guests, finding accommodations for out of town guests. I started a preliminary invitation list, subject to change of course, and also who know who #1 will be friends with in five years. I just copied over some of the people from our wedding invitation list, making edits for those who have gotten married, divorced, or died since then. I told hubby five years does seem like a long way off, but we will have to start thinking about it now as we will have to start trying to save something for it. When we book the date, either this year or in 2 years (I forget if you book it 5 years ahead or 3), we will have to put down a big deposit. I hope they take post dated checks LOL. Maybe we'll win the lotto by then. :) My baby having a bar mitzvah in 5 years! that scares me..I still feel like I am 19.

Ok, that's all I wanted to blog about for today. :)

Blizzard!!!

2008-03-09T15:57:00.004-04:00

Yikes. From Friday afternoon to late Saturday night, we had non stop snow, over a foot. Being we already had several feet of snow left over from a bunch of other recent storms...the snowpiles are higher than my head!! Today I had to walk down to the bus stop to take the TTC for my appointment with my accountant to file my taxes, and the sidewalks were NOT plowed, and also I had to wait 1 hour for the bus!! 1 hour!!! My toes were numb, damn it! I had finally found a friend who was able to give me a lift but then the bus came. Figures. She offered to pick me up anyway but I didn't want to make her shlep when the bus was right there finally. Actually 3. Yes. 3 buses came at the same time as they were really screwed up today. The other routes seemed fine. In fact, I saw several of them pass me by, making me extremely envious of the people on there who were not having to suffer through a bout of frostbite waiting for the bus. :)

I also managed to go to the library and the mall to pick up the new Vtech tote and go computer for #3. It was a diaster to walk through. I had to walk in the street, and I was extremely nervous about that as someone doing that earlier was hit by a car :( Attention snow plow people: SIDEWALKS!! Do them! :) My brother in law is in a wheel chair and my mother in law was unable to take him anywhere today because of the lack of plowing done on the sidewalks.

Anyway, in other news, I was thinking about that book I just read awhile ago, "Making Peace with Autism". The author had mentioned how she could see sprinkings of autistic behaviour in her other son, but that he does not have autism. I think I can see what she means. #1 has Aspergers, my other kids don't. But I definitely see a sprinkling of certain traits in #3 and #4. For example, #3 is VERY sensitive to certain foods, and also textures, like tags on shirts, etc. #4 gets very upset about her stockings, if the seams on the toes are not just so, it bothers her. I am not sure if this is just normal toddler behaviour or whatnot. Its interesting to think about.

#4 and #5 still are congested and finished up the last dose of antibiotics today for their ear infections. I hope they do not have a relapse..
Ok, I am going to go rest now. I am exhausted from all that shoveling!

My son, the rabbit

2008-03-05T14:47:00.002-05:00

#1 must think he is a rabbit. Today he chewed the mouse off of #3's cute little Vtech Tote and Go computer. He didn't like the noise apparently. Sigh. I asked him, why didn't you just hit the OFF BUTTON???? I ordered a new one quickly off of the Sears web site, but it won't be in until Sunday. #3 will wonder where his computer went. #1 is home today as the school buses were cancelled due to a snow storm we had. #3 and #2 had school, as they are not bussed to school.

We had the city come test our water today. We will find out the results in about a month. The city was looking for volunteers to have their water tested, so I volunteered. Why not?

Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. The molar I most recently had a root canal on late last year is not feeling right. I am feeling some pain. Funny, because I am supposed to feel NOTHING in that tooth. I think if it needs to see a specialist I will be phoning Dr. Quack, the former dentist that butchered it to begin with to let him know about how my insurance would not pay for a new filling because he had experimented with the tooth before by drilling and then filling the tooth to see if the nerve was alive, and needed a root canal, and thus a new filling my insurance would not cover as its less than 2 years. I am going to ask him to waive the last two payments we are making has his incompetence has cost me hundreds. I am pissed. I will see what my dentist says tomorrow. I had switched after the mishap with my butchered root canal last year.

Funny prank call I received yesterday

2008-03-04T13:12:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I got a blocked call, and when I answered, a young child said hi, this is June 4th. and I said WHO? and the kid repeated, June 4th, July 4th's sister. I hung up. The child called back, and I told them I am going to tell their mommy they are making prank calls. So the kid hung up and didn't call back. LOL. :) I have no idea who the kid or his mom was. :)

In other news..looks like I will not be able to see Weird Al in concert AGAIN this year :( He is coming to Ontario during the three weeks before Tisha B'Av, where you are not allowed to hear live music, and also he will be far away at CasinoRama. So, if for some hugely bizzare chance who ever books Weird Al's venue for touring stumbles upon my rambling blog, come to Toronto after August 10th! :) LOL.

Anyway, I am still feeling exhausted and crummy from my cold. I am going to go rest for a while until #1, #2, and #3 come home from school.

Annoying songs that get stuck in your head

2008-03-03T17:51:00.000-05:00

Making Peace with Autism

2008-03-02T13:40:00.004-05:00

I just read a pretty good book by Susan Senator, about autism, called "Making Peace with Autism". Though #1 is not full blown autism, but a cousin to it called Asperger's Syndrome, I enjoyed reading the book. I found her experiences with the school system for her son to be helpful and some of her experiences with her son on the playground I could relate to.

Anyway, I know I have not posted in a while, its been very hectic here and I have not been feeling that great, I ended up getting a bad cold. I sold my triple stroller, or will be in the next 15 minutes to someone I know who has a daycare. it does need some repair, so I am not sure how much I am selling it for. I will wait for her to make me an offer. #1 became yellow belt in karate today. Yay #1 :)

#3 is still up to mischief. Last week he flushed 2 plastic toilet paper rollers down the toilet. 80 dollars later...sigh. #2 gave #3 a hair cut with safety scissors during her working on her arts and crafts. SIGH. Hubby is taking #3 to the barber today to fix it.

I officially enrolled #4 in nursery school in September. My baby! It will be so weird with just one home during the day in the next school year.

Anyway, I am waiting for the person to come by and get the stroller, so I am ending this post for today.

Lots of Stuff

2008-02-25T16:49:00.004-05:00

Well, erev shabbos, #3 did it again. I went to the local convenience store to buy some beverages for shabbos, and I told hubby before I left that i thought #3 was going to get into mischief and to keep a close eye on him. He was busy getting ready for shabbos himself, and didn't notice that when #3 went to the washroom, he flushed more than pee down the toilet. He flushed 2 plastic rollers for toilet paper down it too. We had a plumber come on Sunday and remove the plastic rollers, for 80 dollars. So my run to Macs ended up being quite costly. Sigh. So much for keeping a close eye on #3, LOL.

Anyway, I finally went to the doc today regarding my sinus tachycardia misbehaving lately and the gall bladder pain. I am going for an ultrasound for that and have to wear an event loop recorder for the heart palpitations for a week.My doc also wants to check my creatine levels, my iron levels, blood sugar, and my cholesterol. I think If I just lost the stupid leftover pounds from 5 pregnancies I would feel a lot better and not have these annoying problems. I am going Wednesday to get the heart monitor, and next Tuesday for the ultrasound. When I get the palpitations I am supposed to press a button that records them. Of course, after I get home from my family doc appointment, I start feeling uchy, I think I caught #1's strep throat. He had a relapse last week. I thought I got lucky and escaped it, but I am having chills and my throat is starting to hurt :( I think #4 is sick too. She is not herself today, sounds hoarse and is very cranky. I am taking her to the pediatrician tomorrow for a strep test.

Anyway, I have to put a diaper on #5 again. she keeps taking them off every 2 seconds.

Pop goes the stroller wheel

2008-02-22T11:49:00.002-05:00

the other day, hubby and I noticed the back rear wheel on my jogging stroller was flat. Today, #1 informed me he wanted to feel cool air and took a pushpin from the bulletin board to let the air flow out and see what would happen. Well, the end result is my tire now has a hole in it and #1 has lost his computer priveleges till Monday. Luckily hubby has a tire patch kit and will hopefully be able to repair it otherwise I have to take it to a bike store to have it fixed. I just sold my triple peg perego stroller to someone so I really need this stroller fixed.

Anyway time to do some shabbos cooking.

The Case of the Missing Emails

2008-02-20T19:44:00.003-05:00

Is finally solved!!!! YAY. You see, several people were miffed at me for not answering email. Finally one of my friends informed me she wrote me several times and was puzzled by my emails to her asking why she wasn't writing me LOL. I was missing email from #1' s karate teacher, emails from the lady who is sending #1 his prize package from the contest I entered him in. Finally today I phoned my ISP's tech support, where I discovered--here comes my DOH! moment-- I had my settings configured wrong!! DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder how many other emails I am missing that I am not even aware of! I enter a lot of contests...I wonder how many I won that I was not aware of! Oh well....at least its fixed now :)

In other news...I think I am having gall bladder trouble. I think my stomach virus last week was not a virus..it happened again 2 nights ago...it was almost as bad as contractions..I was worried about pancreatitis, I almost went to the ER. I was in fetal position in agony, it made the pain less painful that way. It was mild all day and then boom, at midnight it was horrible. Now this afternoon and still now I am having pain in my uppper right side by my ribcage. If it gets bad like it did 2 nights ago I might go to the ER. Most likely I wlll just wait till my doc though because ER can take 12 hours, literally, to be seen. My neighbor had a post partum uterine infection and it took the triage 2 hours even to register her as a patient! Ontario health care sucks. BTW I just read an article that said Ontario is the worst province for cancer patients, as they have the fewest new drugs out there to treat people. Scary.

I got the re-enrollment forms for #2 and #3, and also a new form for #4 who will, IY"H, be starting nursery in the fall! I will have 4 in school, and one at home. Cool! #3 is repeating junior kindergarten, because he isn't' ready yet for senior. he is one of the youngest in his class. I do not care for the pre-school director very much, she didn't listen to me when I told her I wanted him in nursery for this year. I also think she judges #3 based on #1's asperger's and I had to tell her repeatedly he DOES NOT have it! we already had him screened for it as when you have one child with asperger's it is a higher risk of siblings having it. She has another student who has someone come in to give the teacher advice for difficult behaviour that the kid is presenting with and now wants the same for #3. "strategies to help the teacher". I wish I could speak to the parent of that other kid to see what she thinks of it. But because of privacy I don't know who the other mother is. I know #3 can be difficult some times but maybe if the pre-school director bothered listening to me and put him in nursery like I wanted he wouldn't have any behavioural trouble at school.

Tomorrow I am going to #1's speech therapy session. And that's about it for today. My dad is really down in the dumps and wants us to visit NJ again (he and the step-monster are divorcing..which should be final by next month). I would love to visit NJ but the kids have school and we were just in NJ a few weeks ago, and hubby is busy with work. IY"H August.. I wish sooner but we can't. I told my dad he is more than welcome to stay by us for a few weeks but he has to work too. :(. My sis moved to Florida because she had a job offer there, its hard for my dad right now, he is all alone in NJ. I am worried about him.

Ok, will post more later..

Anyway, I am off to go take a shower and read and relax.

I am here!

2008-02-18T08:11:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted in a few days, I haven't been feeling well. B"H today I feel better. I had some weird stomach virus, which made my GERD flare up, which made me feel crappy.

I am frustrated with the lack of communication between #1's teacher and his educational assistant, and the constant incorrect assignments being written in his agenda. It was written to study pages 93-95 for spelling, #1 and I studied together, and then he gets tested on a completely different set of words. This is the second time this happened. I left voicemail for his teacher and wrote a note to his aide. She had written me that he only got 3/8 right. Of course!! Those were not his words we studied for the week!! The fact that he got 3/8 on spelling words he has not even seen before is impressive. Hopefully this week they will get their act together and test #1 on the word list they told him to do assignments on and study. I am going to the school Thursday for #1's speech therapy with the witch (I hate his speech therapist, she is very impatient) and will mention something to his teacher.

Weird AL on tour again this summer

2008-02-13T18:15:00.003-05:00

YAY :) I hope the tour comes to Toronto again. Last year I couldn't go to the concert, it was the 3 weeks and I couldn't listen to music. Hopefully the timing will work out this year, and hopefully the ticket prices won't be too expensive. The last concert I went to was when i was 13, and it was New Kids on the Block..UGH, LOL.

next topic on my list:
We are supposed to get 2 more snow storms! one friday and one sunday. UGH. I am so sick of snow. This is the worst winter I have experienced since coming to Toronto 10 years ago.

in other stuff..right now I am listening to Mad world. I finally got around to seeing Donny Darko, and I really liked it. It was really freaky. I highly recommend it :)

Anyway, I am going to go relax, or try to anyway.

I hate Winter! Hate it!

2008-02-12T12:47:00.001-05:00

DAMN IT!! IT is going to snow again!!! WAAAH :( "Total snowfall of 15 to 20 centimetres for today and tonight.
Radar show bands of lake effect snow developing over Lake Ontario moving inland with increasing easterly winds ahead of a low pressure system approaching the lower Great Lakes. This lake effect snow bands are expected to give up to 10 centimetres of local snowfall on top of another 5 to 10 centimetres from the approaching low pressure system this afternoon and tonight. Local visibilities in the lake effect snow bands could drop suddenly to less than 1 kilometre due to heavy snowfall and blowing snow. Motorists are advised to excercise extreme caution."

I am going to cry :P

Second of all, I am totally stressed out today. I got the re-enrollment form for my kids school, because IY"H I am sending 3 in September (#2 will be in grade 1, #3 is repeating JK, and #4 will be in nursery school, IY"H)(#1 goes to public school due to the aspergers and ADHD) its 150 dollars deposit a kid, so its costing me 450, on top of the 200 camp deposit, on top of my first camp payment of 389, on top of 73 for karate, and 67 to dr. quack, my former dentist from hell, on top of 85 for #4's new eye glass prescription and a new lense for #2 which got chipped.
Where is my winning lottery ticket????? :P Good thing they take post dated checks...

Sigh. I guess I will be stuck in the house again tomorrow due to the snow. At least it gives me time to read and catch up on chores, right? :)

Yet Another Snow Storm!

2008-02-12T05:20:00.000-05:00

I just checked the forecast. Yikes! We are supposed to get another 10 centimeters tonight! What is up with the winter this year?? I think this is the worst winter we've had in my almost 10 years in Toronto. At least I am doing exercise by shoveling :)

I have no clue why I am up at 5:21 a.m. but I think I am going to go try to go back to sleep or I will be exhausted yet another day.

Good night. (morning) :P

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

2008-02-10T09:37:00.000-05:00

I am so tired. Yet another night of restless sleep. Every night these past two weeks my sleep has been disrupted by #3. Even on shabbos, when hubby was sitting right there awake on the couch and I was trying to catch up on sleep my kids still woke me up instead of going to the awake parent who was watching them. In addition, my sleep apnea has been bad lately. I am going to try to go back to the sleep clinic for another sleep study. I am wondering if its time for a cpap machine. I've always been a heavy breather when sleeping, even when I was really skinny. It's gotten worse since I gained some weight from my pregnancies. I am so tired and cranky from not having a proper nights sleep.

and on to other stuff. Hubby won an xbox 360 from a contest he entered! yay :) being we are not into video games, we are going to sell it on eBay and hopefully get our moneys worth to put towards our expenses. That would be so wonderful.:) We could really use that money right about now.

Anyway, I feel like crap and have to go shlep in below freezing temps to take #1 to his karate class now..

Our Snow

2008-02-07T08:42:00.000-05:00

Here are some pics of the snow the snow storms have given us.

Pink Eye!

2008-02-07T08:07:00.000-05:00

Hmm..after taking a look at #'3's throat, it doesn't look red. At first, I thought he was really sick because his eyes were both blood shot, but then I noticed the yellow gunk at the corner, and voila..pink eye. As long as the other kids don't catch it. I think this shabbos will be interesting..if we are unlucky, we will have a house full of strep throat, pink eyed people.

Anyway, I am off to shovel a bit more, and then take a few pics of our snowy abode, and will share it. I think we have close to 2 feet in total between Friday's storm and last nights. Wow :)

Snow day today!! Yay :)

2008-02-07T06:38:00.000-05:00

Boy, talk about snow! We have tons. I woke up very early and couldn't fall back asleep, so I shoveled at 6 am. It was great. It was invigorating. It almost gave me a heart attack LOL. (G-d forbid). The snow banks after I shoveled are higher than my head! And of course, thanks to Mr. Plow for plowing in my driveway and giving me more reason to exercise :P. Seriously though, after I finished shoveling I felt a rush of endorphins and it felt great! Now I am all hyped up at 6:42 am, and will not be able to go to sleep.

#3 is awake now and I think he is sick. He sounds and looks sick. I think he has strep too. waah :(

#1 is sick :(

2008-02-05T09:24:00.001-05:00

This morning, #1 kept saying it felt like something was stuck in his throat and he sounded hoarse. when I looked down his throat with the light it was really really red. I called the doc I know who does housecalls and he came over right away. He was suprised at how red his throat was. He said even his uvula was really bright red. He thinks its most likely strep, which is bad as he coughed right in my face by accident. The doc turned his back to the coughing so he wouldn't get exposed to the germs, but I breathed it in and stood there watching the doc block himself from the cough instead of following his example. I am probably going to catch it! as if I don't have enough other stuff going on in my life and need this. Crap! that means #3 will get strep because he shares a room with #1, which means #2 will get it because she and #3 are very close and always play together. which means #4 and #5 will get it because they share a room with #2, and of course can't forget the hubby who shares a room with me, and most likely will get it. Hubby also woke up with pink eye this morning. AAAAAARG. which means the kids will probably catch it from him. and of course, certain extended family members didn't think #1 was really sick because he had no fever and told me to send him to school. Good thing I ignored that person and did what I thought was best for #1, which turned out to be the right decision.

My mother in law is coming over to baby sit, as I can't take #1 out, and #3 has an appointment at the ENT for his follow up to ear tubes. My friend is driving me and #3 to the ENT (hey that rhymes) , and my mother in law is going to hopefully lend me the cab fare home. It's over 20 dollars one way fare. She wanted me to cancel, but he was supposed to be seen 4 weeks after and now its 8. (he was booked up). I wish my family from New Jersey could live here. It's so much easier when you have your own blood relatives to rely on.

Yet another snow storm

2008-02-05T06:53:00.000-05:00

Yup. another 15 cm probably headed our way for Wednesday. Good thing I got my garage door unstuck yesterday so I can finally use my shovel and salt :) Most likely #1's bus will be cancelled if its bad out, but I doubt #2 and #3 will have another snow day. The private Jewish schools here almost never have snow day, and they had one on Friday due to the 15 cm we got then.

Today I am taking #3 to the ENT for a check on his ear tubes. when I pick him up from school I will finally be picking up the stroller I had to leave there last week when someone gave us a lift home and we couldn't fold up the stroller.

Anyway, it's almost 7 am and I need to get dressed and get the kiddies dressed.

Kick Me

2008-02-03T08:19:00.000-05:00

I must have a kick me sign taped to me. I am so fed up with my crappy luck. Last night after shabbos i went to shovel my driveway and discovered that my garage door which is over 20 years old has broken. I turn the handle, which has lost all tension, and nothing happens. it is still locked on the damn inside!! My triple jogging stroller is in there. My stupid green organic recycling bin is in there, where am I supposed to put the damn diapers and food scraps?? I need to throw away my garbage but can't and I need an empty blue box!!! of course when I call the office on monday I will be given the stupid run around like everyone else liivng here that the maintenance person is busy installing new kitchens and will have to wait. well this CAN NOT wait. I will just leave my garbage bags in front of the office then since I have no where else to leave them. :P If it is not fixed end of Monday I will go to the president of my development. That's what I had to do last time. the manager has a habit of ignoring work orders. I had to put in the same work order 3 times just to get my bathtub re-caulked. I think its time to have my mezuzahs checked.

Aaak! It's a Snow Day!!!!!!

2008-02-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

My new motto of this week is "Why Me?". Today we are having a snow storm, a foot of snow! #2 and #3 have a snow day, #1 already had no school due to teacher inservice day, but I don't think the teachers will be able to make it to school in this horrible weather. Then, of course, because we are having a snow storm, and all my kids are home, my freaking FRIDGE is dying! It was running for 8 hours straight, then shut off. I noticed yesterday #5's bottle was not as cold as it usually is. So I tested out the fridge by turning it all the way up and it did not turn on for almost a half hour. Its also making an abnormal noise. Of course the office to my development is closed due to bad weather, so the director can't take a look at my fridge or order me a new one until Monday. Shabbos is at 5:09 pm tonight, I am scared my fridge will die completely during shabbos. one of my neighbors who has a deep freezer told me I can store my frozen meat in until the director gives me a new fridge. I can always put it in the garage as its freezing here.

Backtracking to yesterday, I walked all the way to wal-mart to pick up #5's pictures to find out that there was a glitch on #5's film and it was unprintable. The manager was out of the country and some freaky guy was covering for her. finally I had enough of him and told him I was calling the district manager of the portrait studios. Everyone else's pics that day printed up but mine. Okay, things happen, but why wasn't I phoned???? I walked a good half hour to get them. They came in last Sunday! there is no excuse. I told him I have been going to sears for pics 7 years and not once had I ever had this problem, and that's where I would be going from now on. It was my first time using the portrait studios at wal-mart and also my last. What a bad experience. It was hard enough to get #5 to sit for that picture to begin with.

Backtracking some more...#1 had a fabulous day at school yesterday. The bully on the bus had his parents phoned and told that if the wild behaviour didn't stop he would be banned from the bus. So yesterday #1 had a very good bus ride to school, and B"H in result had a great day at school. His teacher said #1 did not scream at all, was so calm and focused. IY"H hopefully this great behaviour will continue and that boy will leave my son alone. apparently he was bothering #1 in school too. Hopefully now #1 can have a bully free school experience.

Anyway, I have cholent to make now. and a fridge to fret over. I always have the worst freaking luck with these things. It's like I have a kick me sign taped to my back.

#1 is runner up for City Parent Kid of the year :)

2008-01-30T17:15:00.001-05:00

I just got an email and I am very excited :) #1 is one of several who have made runner up. I am not sure whats in the prize package he is getting, but he deserves to win and I am proud of him :) Yayayayay :)

I nominated him months ago and completely forgot about it until I got the email from the editor.

"Thank you for putting forward a nomination for the City Parent Kid of the Year Awards Program!
You should be extremely proud of your nominee and all of their accomplishments.
On behalf of City Parent and our contest sponsors, we would like to send your nominee a "runner up" award package in recognition of all of their hard work.
In order to provide your nominee with the award package could you please let us know their home mailing address (rest assured that City Parent will not share any personal information with a third party)."

Finally, something good happens this week LOL :)

The Bully on the Bus

2008-01-30T09:10:00.001-05:00

I just put a call into the school. Today, I saw #1 being bullied on the bus as it was driving away, and the bus driver did NOTHING!.
#1 went on the bus, and down the aisle to sit down, and the wild kid stood up and purposely blocked #1 and would not let him sit down. He was pushing #1 with his chest to prevent him from finding a seat and the bus driver kept driving down the street!!! I called the school, and told them this is not the first incident I witnessed where this chid was acting out on the bus. (last week I saw this kid hitting the bus driver's hand over and over again, a violent sort of high five, and this kid was CLIMBING all over the top of a seats like a cat would. That is not proper and safe behaviour for the bus. This kid should be either kicked off the bus or sitting behind the driver with a seat belt. (there are seat belts on the bus). B. The bus driver should not be driving anywhere until my son was sitting down safely. I am thinking about canceling the bus and just going back to walking #1 to school and picking him up. I also left word on the teacher's machine so he will know what is taking place and maybe speak to the child who is bothering my son. In my upsetness I referred to the bully as an animal in my message to my son's teacher, which I know wasn't the best choice of words..I mean the bully is only about 8 or 9. But still, this bully's unsafe bus behaviour needs to be dealt with, and the bus driver's obliviousness to it should also be dealt with. I just want my son to have a safe drive to school and not arrive all worked up and thus having a bad day, which has obviously been happening..

Breathe in, Breathe out..

2008-01-29T19:06:00.000-05:00

Well, the day ended better than it started, B"H. I got a call at 8:30 am that my pediatrician had to be on call at the hospital, so I had to reschedule the behaviour consultation until tomorrow. In the mean time, I had him physically examined by the doc who was covering for him to make sure he was not ill. B"H he's fine. He had a better day at school, his teacher had called and left a message to let me know. The Autism team observed him briefly this morning, but being he had a doctor appointment, they will come back tomorrow and finish it. Apparently #1 is getting very agitated on the bus ride to school. There is a boy who is extremely wild on the bus and is setting off #1. The Autism team recommended I buy #1 an Ipod for him to listen to on the way to school to distract him from the other boy, and to keep him calm. That's a great idea, but I can't afford an Ipod :( Hubby and I are going to see how much a generic mp3 player would cost. I think its an excellent idea.

The teacher left a message on my machine that he wants to ease my mind, that #1 had a great day, he had his usual shtick, but he did not scream or yell, and was polite and did not disrupt class. Everything was fine all afternoon at home too, until #1 had trouble logging on to some bbc kids web site for science that apparently does not work on safari, only on firefox. we have both browsers, but I didn't know about this glitch, and #1 totally freaked out and had a huge 20 minute melt down. I am going to bring it up tomorrow at the pediatrician's appointment about #1 overreacting over this minor thing. He was fine all day and all afternoon, he was so happy, and I am puzzled why he freaked out like that over a minor issue. Right now he is fine, happy and playing with his toys.

Anyway, I am worn out and tired from the stress from the past 2 days so I am going to go relax now.

Very very upset :(

2008-01-28T12:56:00.001-05:00

I just got a phone call from #1's school. They asked has anything changed at home, routines, food, anything. I told them no, nothing has changed (nothing has.) and I was puzzled why the teacher was even asking. Apparently #1's behaviour has been escalating since last week. Today the principal was down the hall observing another class and heard #1 screaming and sobbing. #1 tried to look in the teacher's desk drawers, and the teacher, understandably told him no, and #1 persisted in trying anyway, thus the noise racket and resulting in the principal running down the hall to see what the hell was going on in there. The teacher put in a call to the autism team at the school board, and then phoned me. I am so upset. I had noticed #1 has seemed more agitated these past two weeks, and he asked me weird questions, like, when he cried a lot as a baby, did we hold him? of course we did! this kid was constantly held. We love him very very much and that is what I told him too. (he saw a video of himself as a baby at my friend's son's b-day party, and #1 was crying in the video (he was 1 yrs old in the video). The teacher told me #1 does what he wants when he wants to and if told no, he is defiant and screams. I feel like my heart is breaking, because my son is so loving and affectionate, and yes, he can be stubborn, but we redirect him to other activities when he gets upset and then he is fine. I have no idea why he is behaving this way at school. The teacher said #1 was upset because after his outburst, the other kids in the class were looking at him, so he started screaming about them staring. #1's teacher and aide said maybe he is getting sick. The other day he complained about his ear but then he told me it was not hurting anymore since then, and I asked him last night and this morning and he said his ear is fine. In any case, he is going to the pediatrician tomorrow at 10:40 a.m. We're going to have everything checked out physically and I am going to tell the pediatrician whats been going on in school and see what he recommends. The teacher said my son was ruining his class. I told him something is making my son upset at school, I just want him to be happy. Neither of us have any clue what is setting him off. I just hope that the aide and teacher are right about #1 just not feeling well and thats why he is acting different. I'll find out tomorrow.

Weird Al cameo on the Simpsons

2008-01-27T20:40:00.000-05:00

YES! :) Weird Al made a cameo appearance tonight on the Simpsons. Funny. it was the only reason why I watched the simpsons tonight because I no longer find the Simpsons funny in general. I made a special exception tonight :)

Anyway, I finished buying summer clothes for #3 and #1. :) I was at The Children's Place and Old Navy and bought some tops and shorts for them. #2's dresses I am buying off eBay as I love gymboree and can get a good deal on there. Much cheaper than the actual store. I already finished buying for #4 and #5 has clothes already that #4 outgrew last summer and are still in pretty good condition. While I was at the mall, my sinus tachycardia really acted up. I haven't had a problem for a long time with it. Today I felt very short of breath and my pulse was racing. I might mention it to my doc on Thursday when I go for a follow up appointment for the chronic UTI. Maybe I'm anemic. I am always borderline anemic..I should probably get it checked.

I carried home from the mall/library today 2 heavy bags of books and 3 bags of clothes. It was very hard and I made a bruise on my arm worse because unknowingly pressed into it with all my baggage and now have a nice purple lump on my arm and its freaking sore and tired, as am I. I am going to go read now and relax..

SuperPoking!

2008-01-24T18:21:00.000-05:00

I am a facebook addict. Yes, I am. LOL. I have reconnected with people I have not spoken to in years, and am having great fun superpoking everyone on my friends list. Especially my sister :) That is really great fun. I threw a cyber-sheep at her LOL.

Anyway, enough about facebook. Today #2 tried to make her own swimming pool on my new basement rug. (#2 and #3 have their winter break this week) I had just finished vacuuming the living room and heard a tap being turned on in the basement, where they were watching TV. I went to investigate and caught #3 just before he was about to throw an amazing amount of water onto the rug. I dumped it out into the bathroom sink and then he pointed to the rug and said look what #2 did (well, he used her real name, which I won't do on my blog :). The rug was saturated!!!! I had to take all the toys off the rug and try to lift it up so it and the basement floor can dry. (It's an area rug). I was not strong enough to lift it on my own as its freaking heavy, so my mother in law came over and together we lifted it up and onto an old bookshelf left by the previous tenant. The floor is dry now and the rug almost dry. Sheesh.

School starts on Monday for them again (thank G-d LOL). Anyway, #1 wants to take a shower now and I have to go turn on the water for him. I'll try to post more tomorrow IY"H.

ANOTHER UTI!!!

2008-01-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

Last week, 4 days after finishing 10 days of macrobid, previously to that, 7 days of macrobid, and before that, a week of cipro I am still testing positive for a UTI!!!!! now I am back on another 5 days of cipro. I made an appointment to see the doc next thursday and I want a referal back to the urologist. I don't have time to end up with a kidney infection, G-d forbid.